


Sex, Drugs, and Bulgarian Rap (Please)

by LynchAdam



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Attempted Sexual Assault, Awkward Sexual Situations, Drug Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Joseph Kavinsky Being an Asshole, Joseph Kavinsky is His Own Warning, M/M, Multi, Non-Consensual Drug Use, One-Sided Joseph Kavinsky/Ronan Lynch, Oral Sex, Original Character(s), Out of Character, POV Ronan Lynch, Past Sexual Abuse, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Ronan Lynch Has Feelings, Ronan Lynch Makes Bad Choices, Ronan Lynch is Bad at Feelings, Ronan Lynch-centric, Substance Abuse, Suicide Attempt, Underage Drinking, Underage Rape/Non-con, Underage Sex, ronsey is toxic tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-31 01:31:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 30,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21437980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LynchAdam/pseuds/LynchAdam
Summary: Ronan Lynch is a disaster and Gansey is doing his best.(Or Ronan thinks Kavinsky is a great guy and related tales)
Relationships: Colin Greenmantle/Ronan Lynch, Joseph Kavinsky/Ronan Lynch, Richard Gansey III/Ronan Lynch, Richard Gansey III/Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish, Ronan Lynch & Adam Parrish, Ronan Lynch & Everyone
Kudos: 13





	Sex, Drugs, and Bulgarian Rap (Please)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, so this is my disaster of a fic that I wrote over the span of half a year with plenty of 3 A.M. edits and was my first one. Review the tags, because there are triggering scenes here and it is all posted as one! I hope you like it.  
P.S. if you hate rovinsky this is not for you.  
P.S.S. Ronan is like really out of character here so

When he thinks too much, Ronan remembers Kavinsky pressing his fingertips into his hip and biting down on his collarbone. This is never any good and leaves him with either an erection or an intense burning desire unrelated to the erection, which is more terrifying. He thinks about leaving marks on Kavinsky’s chest, from his nails and tongue. He thinks about unbuckling Kavinsky’s jeans and - 

“Ronan. Do you want to go to Ninos?” 

Exasperation fills his mind, of course now is when Gansey knocks on his door when he’s in the middle of -. Ronan yells out one minute. He pulls on jeans and a semi-clean black tank top, laces up his boots and follows Gansey to the pig. 

They scoop Adam from the garage, and he, as usual, is smudged with grease. Grease right on the apple of his left cheek, so that when he talks or laughs it spreads. Ronan wants to worship the grease smudge as if it is a holy relic and not the careless mistake of a sixteen-year-old budding mechanic. Gansey and Adam are deep in discussion of Glendower or some other shit that Ronan can’t be bothered to tune into on the fifteen-minute drive. He stares at Adam’s cheek the entire ride. 

When they arrive, Noah is at the table already and flags them over, as if they don’t sit at the same booth every single time. Ronan sits with Gansey, and Adam plops down next to Noah immediately striking up a conversation about some reading assignment for fall. Gansey for once is quiet, and all is content as the waitress takes their orders. Just as Noah orders his usual glass of ice water, Kavinsky slides in next to Ronan. Completely flustering him and causing him to knock Gansey against the booth wall. 

“I’ll have a bacon cheeseburger, with extra bacon and a chocolate milkshake.”

“We don’t have milkshakes, we have soda or water.” Ronan can’t believe this girl has the nerve to say this to Kavinsky and not get flustered immediately. Kavinsky puts his hand on Ronan’s left knee and he jerks his right knee into Gansey.

“Ronan! Stop knocking into me.” 

“Sorry,” and now blood rushes to his face while Kavinsky keeps holding his knee. 

“Fine. I’ll take - what did he get?” He gestures to Ronan and the waitress is less than impressed.

“Cherry Coke.”

“That’s what I’ll have.”

“Great, I’ll put the orders in.” There is nothing great about the way she states this. 

Now Kavinsky looks past Ronan into Gansey’s puzzled gaze. “What’s wrong, Daddy? Don’t want to share custody?” This makes Ronan even more flustered and causes Adam to give him an odd look. 

“No, just curious as to why you have graced us with your presence this evening.” This is too many long and unnecessary words to not be sarcasm, and Kavinsky’s lips curl in annoyance.

“Ronan wanted me to pay a visit. He loves when I visit him, Dick.”

“Super mature, Joseph. If you and Ronan want to go on a date, then just go.”

“I like to think this is a date, even though Daddy and Mommy and Smudgy are along. You know, chaperoning or some shit.” Now he slides his hand closer to Ronan’s hip, and Gansey watches while raising his right eyebrow, waiting for Ronan to explain. Ronan’s starting to get aroused being touched right here by Kavinsky, and the last thing he wants is for Gansey to watch his dick swell. 

“I have to go to the bathroom”, and Ronan stands up fast, too fast causing Kavinsky’s hand to brush over his dick, and he gulps. He scrambles over Kavinsky to get out of the booth and nearly knocks over the waitress carrying their drinks in the process. She gives him an odd expression as he hurtles toward the men’s room. Just as he finishes urinating, the door opens and he knows who it is without looking.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“Taking a piss, Ronan. What the fuck does it look like?” Now he looks into Kavinsky’s eyes as he moves to the urinal to the right. “Do you want to hold me?” Smirking as he unzips his fly and pulls out his dick, aiming at the urinal drain. Ronan just stands and watches, saying nothing. When Kavinsky’s done they both move to the sink to wash their hands. Ronan stares at Kavinsky and then leans in for a kiss. He starts to kiss roughly as he feels Kavinsky’s hands at his hips, pressing down which drives him insane. To everyone, Ronan is a venomous snake, coiled and ready to strike at any moment. Everyone except for Kavinsky, who always strikes first and aims to kill. 

Kavinsky pulls back unceremoniously from Ronan and smirks. He knows how easy it is for Ronan to fall apart under his spell, and he wants Ronan to realize it too. Ronan blushes and Kavinsky takes it as a win, signaling for them to leave the restroom. When they finally make their way back to the table, the food has arrived and the other boys are engrossed in conversation. Ronan slides back into the booth, careful not to jostle Gansey this time, and Kavinsky follows suit. Adam gives Ronan a raised eyebrow but says nothing much to his relief. Kavinsky slips something into Ronan’s pocket, and he’s too afraid to look at it, choosing to down his cherry coke instead. Kavinsky pops a pill before taking a sip of his coke, then gorges on his cheeseburger as if his life depended on it. 

“So, what fascinating things is Richard Campbell Gansey III up to lately?” Noah is not usually sarcastic, and it’s as if having both Ronan and Kavinsky at the table encourages foul play.

“Jerking off to Glendower and Ronan, no doubt,” Kavinsky says as ketchup runs down his chin. He wipes his chin and continues. “Besides, it’s not like he’s getting laid anytime soon.”

Gansey flashes red eyes at Kavinsky for a moment, then bites back his retort. Then the facade of Gansey the Important is put back into place. Ronan starts to feel wobbly, and he has a sneaking suspicion that Kavinsky slipped a pill into his coke earlier. Noah looks sheepish as if imagining Ronan and Glendower in the same mental image while jerking off. Adam looks like he would rather be anywhere than this conversation, and the grease smudge is still on his cheek. Ronan wants to lick it off. 

“Adam, you have some shit on your cheek.” Ronan chooses instead and watches as Adam works the smudge out with a napkin.

“Better?”

“Nah I liked your face before, now I can actually see it.” Kavinsky laughs heartily when Ronan says it. 

“What’s up with the bathroom convention?” Now Adam is digging because Ronan couldn't watch his mouth.

“It’s called needing to take a piss, Parrish. We can’t all be superhuman like you all the time.” Adam flushes. Now Ronan has him. Gansey takes this time to glare at Ronan and refuses to back down until he looks away. An apology is mumbled, causing Kavinsky to snort.

“You going to take a bite out of your food, princess? I’m sure Daddy doesn’t have all night.”

“I lost my appetite.”

“Then let’s get out of here.” 

Ronan gets up. He follows Kavinsky out of Nino’s without saying goodbye. He can tell Gansey is pissed off, but he’ll deal with him after he gets laid. Kavinsky opens the passenger door for Ronan with a toothy grin, expressing anything but friendliness. As soon as the car starts, he guns it to 80 and tears out of the parking lot, nearly nailing an SUV. He emits a hideous cackle that makes Ronan smile. Ronan can barely stay composed on the drive to his palace. Kavinsky can take anything he wants, and he does, but he will never own Ronan. Gansey owns him. This simply drives Kavinsky insane, leading him to mark Ronan up like a piece of property every time. Ronan lets him. 

“Put it on Lynch. I want to see you in it.” Just like that, Kavinsky slips into his garage. Ronan feels the bulge in his pocket and pulls out a dog collar. He gulps. He opens the clasp on the collar, which is soft leather and places it around his neck. 

“Now who’s your master?” 

Ronan is remarkably embarrassed and aroused at the same moment, and his reply is his growing erection straining against his jeans. Kavinsky stares at him unnervingly until a ‘you’ tumbles out of Ronan’s mouth. They make their way to his kitchen, discarding clothing on the way. Ronan is left with only the collar. He is shoved down to his knees, dick in his mouth all in quick succession. Kavinsky never lets him adjust, always shoving the tip to the back of his throat and fucking his mouth immediately. It takes Kavinsky a few minutes before hot semen is hitting the back of Ronan’s throat, leaving him to half swallow it and half choke on it. He cleans Kavinsky up because it’s expected until Kavinsky pulls out with a loud pop.

Ronan wants to be fucked. Kavinsky wants Ronan to beg for it. He is still on his knees, and his face flushes again for the hundredth time tonight.

“Please, K. Fuck me.”

“I don’t know, Princess. You’re already in trouble.” 

“Fuck Gansey.” And he doesn’t mean it. Not at all. He likes to pretend that Gansey is not his owner. Kavinsky wolf whistles in response to the words. Ronan gets up and pushes himself against Kavinsky’s body, trying to get off on his thigh. Like a dog.

He turns his body, slamming Ronan down on the island with a thud and pushes into his entrance with no warning, not stopping until the base of his cock meets his ass. Ronan’s body flares up with the heat of the blazing sun and the air is leaving him in heaving gasps. Kavinsky starts to find a steady rhythm and bites at his neck, looking to draw blood or a moan. He hits his prostate incessantly until Ronan is left a pleading mess begging for so many things. Kavinsky leaves hickeys and bites marks all over his back and neck, just for Gansey. When Ronan falls apart, it’s followed by Gansey, Gansey, Gansey like a holy recital at the altar. His cum hits the drawers under the island counter, and Kavinsky fills his ass even though Ronan asked him to pull out countless times before. 

Kavinsky cleans up in silence, and then, as usual, expects Ronan to leave. He stays hovering by Kavinsky, as they start collecting their clothing and getting dressed. He’s trying to test how irritated Kavinsky got when he said Gansey’s name instead. He’s trying not to admit how scared he feels to face the reaction. Kavinsky instead gives him a lopsided grin, asking how his newest creation feels. Ronan has to think for much longer than he cares to admit about what the fuck Kavinsky means. 

“Fine. I can barely feel it,” Just to piss off Kavinsky, he denies the wobbling steps and room spinning like a globe. He realizes that he still hasn’t found his tank top and that his pants are on backward at the same moment Kavinsky offers him a grin. Maybe since they’re high out of their minds he forgot -

“I can give you some for your Daddy, it’ll make it so hot for you both.”

“Fuck off, K.” Mistake. 

Ronan swears he feels the blow before it connects with his left cheek, and the slap reverberates throughout the empty downstairs. His cheek burns and shame prick his eyes for letting Kavinsky hit him again. He always lets Kavinsky beat him, not because he is a good fighter, but he deserves it. Next, he punches Ronan’s stomach, knocking the wind out of him and causing him to trip backward. His head crashes against the marble floor with a sickening crunch and he starts to feel bile clawing its way up to his esophagus. Kavinsky stands over him, sneering at either his position or lack of pride. It’s the last thing he sees before his vision turns white and the only sound is Kavinsky’s echoing laughter. 

_

Gansey has Ronan naked in the bathtub, running a washcloth over the cuts littering his body and cleaning the back of his head gently. With his other hand, he’s then pressing an ice pack to the back of Ronan’s shaved head. Even after he wakes up, he stays silent. He knows better than to open his mouth, Gansey is seething in anger. He can feel the shaking fingers, and can’t discern if it’s from the rage or sadness. Or both.

Ronan flinches slightly when Gansey’s lips press against his temple. He’s not sure why he expected a fist, maybe he’s over it. Of course, Gansey wouldn’t hit him or raise his voice. Not like Kavinsky. Sometimes Ronan forgets. Gansey holds him carefully when he’s done washing, and he cries silently unwilling to let the sobs leave him. Gansey pulls away and watches him for what feels like a long while until he opens his eyes. 

“Ronan.”

His name brings a mixture of shame and pleasure when it leaves Gansey’s mouth. He likes to watch the slight curve of lips around the o and the slight part at the n. He likes to imagine it working his body. 

“Ronan,” this time with irritation since he is not listening, “What - uh - what are you _ thinking _?”

“About your lips.”

“I’m serious Ronan, stop messing around.” 

“I’m just being honest,” barely above a whisper, he adds, “What do you want me to say?”

This question is the crux of the argument leaving Gansey’s mouth every time he crawls back with his tail behind his legs. It’s one that Ronan asks each time, and yet never receives the answer. It’s a question that cannot be answered, if only for the fear of admitting a deep desire. 

“I want - what I want - is for you to stop killing yourself with some cheap whore.” This is too far and even as it leaves his mouth, Gansey realizes his error. Ronan twitches his nose and focuses on repeatedly opening and closing his right hand into a fist. This is as far as he will go, and Gansey banks on it. The tension in the room is dividing the cobra from the lion, leaving Ronan with a metallic taste in his mouth. 

“Then tell me I’m yours.” There is no trace of mocking or venom in the sentence, only the vulnerability of a sixteen-year-old boy afraid to mar a friendship. Only the steady gaze meeting his blue eyes, and the heat creeping up Gansey’s collar. 

“I didn’t collar you, Ronan.” There is no trace of menace but rather the soft tone reserved for a young child when receiving bad news. 

“You should have, maybe if you would, I wouldn’t keep meeting you like this.” A ghost of a smile tugs the edges of Gansey’s lips and Ronan feels sheepish. 

“Is that what you want, Ronan? Is that what this is about?” He’s not sure if he means Kavinsky or the fresh marks littering his body.

“Yes. I want to - I just need - be yours.” Ronan can barely spit out the words and looks up at the exposed wiring above the tub which he should fix today. 

“Okay.”

“Just like that?”

“Yes, Ronan. God, you are so dense. Get dressed and come to my desk.”

He finishes scrubbing the filth and leftover scent of Kavinsky, and towels off. Heading into his room, he stumbles around his room looking for a presentable pair of jeans. The clothes he was wearing at Kavinsky’s have disappeared. He hasn’t done his laundry in weeks, and he is running out of clothes to wear. Maybe he should ask Gansey if he will do it for him. He hates doing laundry. Giving up on the jeans, he meanders his way to Gansey’s desk wearing black briefs and a stained white t-shirt. 

“I couldn’t find any pants.”

“If you ever did your laundry, you could avoid this problem entirely.” He wonders if by problem Gansey means what he’s wearing or if he really is ticked off about the laundry. 

“Pants are for losers.” Ronan chuckles dryly at his own comment, followed by a soft chuckle from Gansey. He moves closer to Gansey and tentatively places his hand on his right shoulder. Gansey lets him. “Do you think I’m a slut, Gansey?”

He can see Gansey flinch at the inquiry, and form the crinkle in between his eyebrows that Ronan adores. 

“Why would you ask me that?” 

“Because I want to know the answer, moron. Just tell me.”

“No. I think you use sex as an unhealthy coping mechanism to avoid responding to your own feelings.” Ouch, now Ronan wishes he had just called him a slut. Gansey sighs, “You wanted to know.”

Noah makes noise in his room, probably to alert them of his presence, considering he’s dead and doesn’t do much that requires sound. Gansey looks a little guilty, for saying it around Noah, but not for the answer. Noah comes out in the main room, sheepishly looking between the boys.

“Is now a bad time? I can, uh, go visit Adam?”

“That would be good, Ronan and I need privacy.” For _ what _?

“Okay, see you later.” He’s gone in an instant, before Ronan finishes blinking, much faster than usual. 

Gansey looks up at him and searches his face, obviously not finding what he’s looking for. Instead, he moves to his cardboard model of Henrietta in the center of the room. Ronan’s eyes flicker to Gansey’s bed pushed up against the bay window. 

“I think you use your little town as an unhealthy coping mechanism to avoid responding to your own feelings, Gansey.” 

Gansey laughs, really laughs, with snorts and all at Ronan’s comeback. Ronan smiles a real smile. 

“I think that you’re right, Ronan.”

“Say it again, louder.”

“Don’t push it now.”

“Please?” Gansey gulps, Ronan raises his left eyebrow.

“I think you’re right, Ronan.” This time it echoes back, making it much sweeter to Ronan’s ears. He continues, “We need to talk about us.”

“I want to be with you. More than a friend, Gansey.”

“I know, Ronan. I just - this is a big adjustment for me. I’m trying to process my feelings, I don’t want to hurt you.” 

“Should I leave?”

“No. Can you just help me paint this red?” Now he’s holding up a Captain Crunch family size box to indicate what this means, and smiling at Ronan. 

Ronan sits down carefully to the right of Gansey, sharing the palette of paint and working on the back panel of the box. It’s 3:23 A.M. He adds tiny windows in black outline after finishing the first layer of paint. Then he adds little people, some of them with o’s for mouths, all with yellow backgrounds. Gansey clears his throat, and gets up, heading to the kitchen. Ronan keeps working on his people. 

He comes back over to Ronan and places a glass of water on the floor to his left, and checks out what he’s working on. He doesn’t say anything for a while, he just watches Ronan paint. 

“Ronan, can I ask you something, but can you tell me the truth?”

“I won't lie to you, Gansey.” 

“Lying by omission is still a lie, Ronan.”

“Okay, promise.”

“Why do you let Kavinsky treat you like a piece of meat? Is it because you feel guilty?”

“It’s what I deserve, Gansey,” and his hands start shaking, smearing his fourth figure. This one is close to the window, peering down at the cement. Wondering how long it would take to plummet if his wings were clipped. “You’re the only person that thinks I’m worth being around.”

“What about Adam and Noah?”

“They only care because they think I’m your pet.”

“You are not a fucking pet, Ronan. You deserve better than Kavinsky, someone who actually gives a shit about your well-being.”

“I like it when you swear, it twists your lips in a hot way.”

“You’re facing a cereal box, Ronan. Can’t even see my lips.”

He places his finger to his temple, “Right here. I can see it.” He finishes painting his fifth figure, dangling precariously from his apartment window. Testing his grip, daring his fingers to falter.

“Look at me, please.” Ronan sighs, and gets up, turning to face Gansey. He feels embarrassed for calling himself a pet, is that his new kink or some shit?

“What?”

“Come to bed.” Ronan raises his eyebrows.

“Didn’t you just say I use sex as a coping mechanism?”

“Yes, but we’re not having sex. You need to rest, and so do I.”

“Oh. Are we going to cuddle?”

“Is that what you want Ronan?”

“Yeah.” Red face again. 

“Then come with me.” Gansey takes his hand and leads him over to the king-size bed under the window, with the alluring lights of the small town lying beyond. Gansey gets in first and moves into the center of the bed, lifting the covers for Ronan. He lays down and feels Gansey’s left arm around his chest. His whole body is ablaze with Gansey pressed flush against him.

“Gansey?”

“Yeah?”

“You won’t hit me if you’re mad, right?”

“Right.”

“I liked the collar.”

“I’ll get you a nicer one.” 

“Okay. I love you.”

No response, but a kiss on his left temple again. He didn’t expect Gansey to proclaim his undying love for him all of a sudden, but the light kiss causes his chest to feel warm and his heartbeat races. Gansey’s breathing evens out, and his heartbeat finally calms. 

When he dreams, he ends up in Cabeswater again. Half-heartedly conversing with the trees in piss-poor Latin for awhile before ambling through the forest. Gansey is stretched out by the stream, and red-grey fish are teeming under the water. He reclines next to Gansey and interlinks their hands. Gansey doesn’t say anything, just smirks. Smirks a lot like -

“How’s it feel, princess?”

“Huh?” Ronan opens his eyes, in confusion, and looks at Gansey. But it’s not Gansey.

“Kavinsky?”

“You think you can just leave me, now that Daddy wants to play?” Kavinsky practically spits these words out, dripping venom from his mouth. Ronan starts feeling his hand breaking, in Kavinsky’s increasingly strong grip. He tries to pull his hand away, twisting it backward and emitting a low hiss. He’s scared now. 

Kavinsky gets on top of him and is pinning his arms against the dirt ground. 

“Leave me alone, Kavinsky. I’m not your property.”

“You piece of shit. You’re going to be whatever I fucking tell you to be. Take your pants off.” 

Kavinsky shifts to give Ronan the room to comply, and he uses the opportunity to knee his groin. Kavinsky screams and rolls off of Ronan, clutching his crotch in agony. He gets up and starts running through Cabeswater, begging for protection from his soon-to-be nightmare. But it’s too late, he realizes, as the previously sunny day turns into a pitch-black night sky. Kavinsky tackles him to the ground again, and this time uses his arm to cut off Ronan’s circulation. 

“Now you’re going to pay, whore.” He knows it’s true, and he’s so scared he feels piss run down his legs. Kavinsky just laughs, with no hint of friendliness, just cold empty laughter. “Pissing yourself now, Ronan? Maybe you really are a dog.” He watches Kavinsky curl his right hand into a fist and -

“Ronan? Are you okay?” He startles awake quickly and realizes that his legs really are wet. His face heats up and he starts crying in embarrassment. He can’t even look at Gansey now. He should have never slept with him last night. 

“Ronan, it’s okay, what happened?” He tries to stop crying and mostly succeeds. Gansey lifts up his chin until he makes eye contact. And waits. 

“Kavinsky. He was hurting me again, I was really scared.” He’d normally lie, but Gansey asked him to tell the truth tonight. He’s also trying to ignore the wet sheets and the fact that he was sprawling on top of Gansey when he peed. 

“He won’t hurt you again, Ronan. I promise.”

“He can hurt me in my dreams, Gansey. There’s nothing I can do to stop it.” 

“Bullshit. Next time, you dream of him, think of me instead.” He doesn’t say that he did that in real life when he was with Kavinsky. He just nods. “Let’s clean the sheets and get changed okay?” He feels like a toddler again, when he would crawl out of bed and tell Declan what happened. 

Gansey strips off their clothes, and they take a shower. Ronan tries hard not to look at Gansey’s dick. When they’re done, he wordlessly hands Ronan an old pair of his boxers. He sits him down at the desk, while he strips the sheets and cleans the mattress. He puts their clothes and sheets in the washing machine. Ronan flips through his journal with pertinent Glendower facts, face burning the entire time because of his stupid bladder. 

“Stop being embarrassed about it, Ronan. Accidents happen to everyone. And I’m not mad at you either, okay?” 

“Okay?” Now Gansey repeats himself because Ronan’s tongue feels paralyzed. 

He walks over to Ronan and gently pulls his hands away from the journal. He takes it, and closes it, putting it to the left of Ronan. Then he wraps his arms around Ronan again. 

“Do you want me to take care of Kavinsky? You don’t have to see him or talk to him about it. I’ll end whatever you two had.”

Ronan just nods because he still is speechless. 

“Okay. Come back to bed?”

“It’s wet still.”

“Your bed then.”

They do.

-

Adam knocks on the door, but Noah simply comes inside and unlocks it. 

“Gansey? Ronan?” 

Gansey shifts over and yells out hang on. They both realize there are no clothes to throw on, so he and Gansey come out in boxers. Which probably makes their sleeping habits look even more guilty to Noah and Adam. 

“What happened to your bed?” Noah glitches slightly, he’s been less present lately, despite Adam trying to fix it. 

“I washed the sheets last night, so I slept with Ronan.” Gansey has his authoritative voice on now. Ronan doesn’t want them to find out why the sheets were washed. 

“Oh okay.” Adam drops it willingly after a glance at Ronan. “So, are we taking the pig tomorrow?”

“Yeah, we’ll get you around 7:40, if that’s ok?”

Shit, school starts tomorrow. Ronan forgot about that. He leaves to put the laundry in the dryer, so he can wash all of his clothes. He has to call Declan about getting a new uniform because his old one mysteriously disappeared last spring. Okay, he shredded it on purpose. 

“Hey, Ronan.” Adam startles him, and he turns around to look at him.

“Hey, man. What’s up?”

“Are you and Gansey together?”

“Not really. But I like him. And he said he has to figure out his feelings and shit.” He tries to play it off at the end, but it falls flat.

“It’s okay if you are, just didn’t want to be in the dark. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I do care about you. And I’m sorry for being a jackass at dinner on Friday. You were obviously uncomfortable because of Kavinsky being there.”

“It’s ok Adam. I don’t think your face is ugly, really. You’re beautiful.” Why the _ fuck _ is he saying this out loud. 

Adam smiles at him. “That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me, Ronan. Is Gansey softening you up?”

“Yeah, I guess so. Asshole.” Adam smirks. 

“What’s with the party in here?” Gansey is looking between Ronan and Adam, with a relaxed smile. Noah trails behind.

“Ronan and I love bathroom parties.” 

“Us too.”

“I have to get my laundry, I’ll be right back.” 

When he gets in his room, he starts gathering all of his clothes and his phone falls out of the pocket of a pair of week-old jeans. He powers it on and sees multiple texts from Declan asking about school, and texts from Kavinsky. A lot of text messages are from Kavinsky. 

_ R u alive? _

_ I feel bad...are u ok dude? _

_ Fine i guess u r fine _

_ R u with him? _

_ Ronan? Are u fucking ignoring me? _

_ Ur pissing me off _

_ Did daddy take away your cell phone privileges now? _

_ R u getting ur clothes back or should i burn them _

_ What’s dicks number then so we can talk _

_ Look im sorry i got mad. U shouldn’t have said another dudes name during sex. Its fucked. _

He sighs. 

_ It’s over k. Just leave me the fuck alone. _

The reply comes instantly. 

_ Fine Ronan. Summer fling? _

_ Yeah, whatever. _

No response. He flings the phone back on the bed and brings his laundry back to the increasingly loud bathroom. Gansey looks at him for a long time while he loads the washing machine.

“I need a new uniform.” Maybe Gansey can get it, so Declan doesn’t throw a fit. 

“And you’re telling me this the day before school starts?” 

“I forgot. Sorry.”

“Okay, well I’ll get you one. But for now, just wear mine tomorrow.” 

“It’s cute how you two are sharing clothes now.” Noah quips. 

“Thanks, Gansey. I’ll pay you back. And fuck off, Noah.” He never pays Gansey back, but it never is acknowledged either. Gansey would pay for all of Adam and Ronan’s needs without caring about the price tag. Adam won’t let him, but Ronan does even though he feels guilty a lot. 

“So, what are we doing about the ley lines?” Adam changes the topic swiftly.

“Well… I found some new articles…” Ronan tunes Gansey out because he hates talking about the ley lines. “... Ronan’s dreaming … impact on energy.” He tunes back in when he hears his name. 

“Huh?” 

“I said I believe your dreaming might have an effect on the energy of the ley lines. And when you bring something back, it causes a spike. It’s just a theory though.” When Gansey says ‘spike’, Ronan is ready to combust in pleasure when his lips part. 

“That makes sense.” Adam looks at Ronan in surprise, considering he tunes out everything he and Gansey say rather than contributing. “What?” 

“Nothing.”

“Gansey wants us to start being honest about our feelings, Adam.” 

“Ronan, that was to you, not a personal remark toward anyone else.”

“So I’m the only person here who doesn’t want to admit their feelings? Got it.”

“Fine, Ronan. I like you too. I want to be your boyfriend. Is that okay?” Everyone is shocked, and no one moves a muscle. Ronan can’t tell if he’s being serious at first, so he starts laughing, but there’s no smile or laughter from Gansey.

“Really?” Ronan sounds like a little kid. Idiot.

“Yes. Is that okay with you?”

“Yeah. It’s okay … Also, can you - um - get my clothes?”

“What? From where?”

“Kavinsky’s. I think the BMW keys were in my pants.” Adam and Gansey’s eyes meet, having a silent conversation that Ronan is not invited to. 

Gansey sighs at this. “Yes. I’ll get the clothes, you stay here with Adam and Noah.”

“Okay. I can’t go anywhere anyway.” Gansey just nods and leaves. 

-

The whole way to Kavinsky’s, Gansey feels completely unnerved. When he pulls up to the house, it reminds him of his parent’s house. Big and empty. 

He knocks on the door. Kavinsky swings it open, standing in a pair of briefs, and his ever-present sunglasses. 

“You here for the Princess’s belongings?”

“Yeah. Are the keys there?”

“Yeah, his clothes and keys are on an island in the kitchen. The maid washed them. Come in.” 

Gansey isn’t used to not being baited or called Daddy in conversation with Kavinsky. He likes it. Following, Kavinsky’s lead they make their way to the kitchen and Gansey is fascinated by the aesthetic of the living room in passing. 

“Who decorated?”

“My mother. She liked art or some shit, I don’t know.”

“It’s nice.”

“Yeah, thanks. Here’s all his shit. He really loves you, do you know that?”

Gansey is caught off guard. 

“Calls your name out when he cums and everything.” This makes him blush furiously.

“We’re together now. So, your thing with him is over.”

“He texted me, didn’t know he wanted to break up twice.” When did he text Kavinsky?

“Oh. Sorry. I didn’t realize he already talked to you.”

“Yeah, well no offense, Dick, but can you leave now? It’s a little embarrassing when someone else is sent to break up with you.”

“One more thing. Don’t lay a hand on him again. Or I’ll kick your ass.”

“Figured, Daddy. See you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, see you around Kavinsky. Thanks for giving him his shit back.”

“I’m not as wicked as you think I am, Gansey. Can you just tell him, I’m really sorry for hurting him on Friday. I was strung out on a lot of coke, I know it’s not an excuse … I was mad at him for calling your name out.” 

He’s surprised to find out why exactly Ronan came back with a busted head. Additionally, in the past two years of knowing Kavinsky, he refused to call him Gansey. It feels like a peace offering. Gansey nods.

“He deserves you, Gansey.”

“I know. But I’ll tell him you apologized. See you around, K.”

He stops by Aglionby for new uniforms for Ronan. He could have waited, but he feels bad that Ronan barely has any clothes from the Barns in the first place. He also buys a new one for Adam, which probably won’t be accepted. He also stops to buy a collar for Ronan, which is slightly embarrassing. By the time the pig rumbles into the lot, it’s rather late in the afternoon. He comes upstairs and finds out Adam left for work two hours ago. Oh well, he’ll give him the uniform tomorrow then. Ronan made his bed, and the sheets don’t look stained anymore. He realizes that Ronan scrubbed them with bleach while he was gone. 

“Ronan?”

“I’m putting my laundry away,” he calls out from his room. 

“Okay. I bought us pizza, I thought they would still be here. Sorry, I went and got you uniforms anyway.”

Ronan comes out, fully clothed now, and it’s the first clean outfit he’s worn since school let out. He looks really good. 

“So, you got everything?”

“Yep, and told him not to bother you. You didn’t mention you already texted him.”

“I just said to leave me alone, but I didn’t want to talk about it in front of Adam and Noah. I’m sorry.”

He tosses the keys into Ronan’s hand and puts the clothes on his bed.

“Ronan. Did he ever hit you like that … before um Friday? Because he apologized, saying he was out of his mind, and mad about something you said.”

“Sometimes he hit me. When he got mad.”

“What made him mad, Ronan?”

“Talking about you. Or if I said to stop taunting me about you. Or during sex. Did he tell you about it?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

“I don’t care why he got irritated actually, he’s not touching you again. Ever.”

There’s a razor-sharp edge to his voice that surprises both of them. He can’t stop thinking about laying Ronan in the back seat of his car, and the way his eyes were dull. The dried blood on his neck. Naked and discarded from Kavinsky as if he were one of the empty beer bottles littering the kitchen floor. 

“I know.”

“Good. Go try those on, make sure they’re right. I’ll set up dinner awhile.”

Ronan slinks into his room and closes the door. Even though Gansey saw him naked a million times by now. It’s different once you start dating, he supposes. After a few minutes, Ronan comes out with his uniform on correctly for the first time ever. Tie knotted correctly and everything. Only to impress Gansey, not because he cares. 

“Do I look hot?”

“My schoolboy fantasies are being met.” Ronan laughs hard. 

“Want to be my teacher?” He smirks as he says this, but his eyes are vulnerable.

“Sure. After dinner.”

Ronan blushes. Gansey hopes that wasn’t too soon. He isn’t really sure what to say since he’s never had sex before. 

“That sounds good. We could use your um desk.”

“Ok.”

After dinner, there is tension in the apartment. Neither of them really know how to role-play, and it’s not exactly something Gansey wants to google. Also, he really wants to sleep with Ronan.

“Look we’ll just do what feels right and good, it doesn’t have to be perfect. Okay? We can make the safe word red.” Ronan nods. “If it hurts, tell me.”

“I have high pain tolerance, Gansey.”

“It’s Mr. Gansey, Lynch.” He smiles at Ronan.

“Right. Sorry, Mr. Gansey.”

“Do you know why I asked you here?”

“Uh, no.”

“Because you’re failing English, and need to pull up your grade unless you want to be held back.” Ronan snorts, and he wonders how many times he’s actually heard this from teachers.

“What can I do to make it up to you, sir?” Gansey’s dick stirs with interest at being called sir. Ronan notices and smirks dangerously. Gansey needs to assert his dominance quickly. He sits on his desk chair and motions Ronan over. 

“Get on your knees. I have something for you.” Ronan is obedient, and submissive which becomes apparent to Gansey immediately. He drops to his knees instantly in front of the chair. Gansey pulls the collar he bought this afternoon out and puts it around Ronan’s neck gently. 

“Do you like it?” Ronan’s breathing is shallow, and he worries the collar is too tight but sees the erection straining through his pants. “I asked you a question, Lynch.” Ronan gulps.

“Yes. A lot.”

“Good. Now, take my dick out and put it in your mouth.” Ronan does. It’s so warm, Gansey feels like he won’t last more than five minutes. Ronan takes his time, licking up and down his shaft then swallowing it all the way down to the base. Gansey is losing his fucking mind, moaning so loud it echos through Monmouth.

“That’s good for now, pet.” Ronan looks like he’s going to lose it when Gansey calls him that. He pulls off Gansey’s dick immediately. Gansey gets undressed quickly, and Ronan waits to be told what to do. Gansey slides everything off his desk hastily onto the floor, breaking the pot his mint plant was residing in and scattering newspaper articles everywhere. 

“Pull your pants down and bend over the desk. I’m going to spank you.” Ronan groans with pleasure and unbuckles his belt, unzipping his pants, pulling them to his knees. So fast. Gansey is dripping with pre-cum all over the floor. He might not even make it to fucking Ronan at this point. 

“Count them, slut.” 

“Yes, sir.” Gansey hits him with all his might, and Ronan gasps in pain. 

“... one.” It comes out strained. Gansey allows it and hits him again.

“Two.” Again.

“Three.” 

He spanks him twenty times until Ronan’s ass is bright red and burning. Ronan is leaking pre-cum all over Gansey’s desk.

“Good boy,” Ronan whimpers loudly, “Do you need me to prep you?”

“No.” Gansey is surprised, but he guesses Kavinsky didn’t care much for foreplay. 

“Alright then.” He still puts lube that he got earlier on anyway. Then, he lines up and presses in slowly. Ronan is panting and moaning. He pushes in fully and shudders at how tight Ronan feels around him. God, he’s not even -

“Faster. Please.”

“Be patient, pet,” but Gansey starts to pick up the pace, pretty soon he’s fucking him so hard the desk is incessantly banging into the wall. Ronan is becoming a mess, writhing and begging Gansey to increase his speed. Gansey shifts and Ronan moans so loud the windows vibrate. There’s his prostate. He hits it over again, and now Ronan is screaming in pleasure. He isn’t holding it together well himself, ready to cum already. He tries to hold out until Ronan cums. Ronan calls out a litany of ‘Gansey’ and doesn’t stop. He’s so aroused, he can’t even see anymore.

“Ronan, I -” Gansey breaks off as he cums hot and fast into Ronan’s ass. Everything turns white and he yells out Ronan’s name so loud it reverberates through the walls. He pulls out of Ronan and turns him around. Ronan didn’t finish yet, so he sucks him off, and he cums after about five minutes, cursing mixed in with Gansey’s name. He swallows, and it tastes good. Like Ronan. Both of them are drenched in sweat, and now Ronan’s uniform is a complete mess. It takes Gansey a minute to compose himself. He stands up shakily. 

“Good boy,” Gansey’s voice cracks after the ‘b’, “You’ve earned an A.”

Ronan giggles and Gansey kisses him, pressing him against the desk. They kiss for a long time, slow and gentle, and Gansey is content to stay this way forever. After a while, Ronan pulls away.

“That was the best sex I’ve ever had.”

“You don’t have to say that, Ro-”

“I’m serious. It was so fucking hot, Gansey.” He kisses him again. 

“Good. We should do that again.” Ronan laughs a real laugh, with more joy than normal. 

“No shit.” 

Gansey takes off the collar and puts it in his desk drawer. Ronan gets undressed and puts their clothes in the washing machine. Gansey wipes down the desk and places everything back on the desk, plopping the salvageable soil and mint plant into an old mug instead. He wipes off the floor too. It’s like it never happened. 

“Do you want to shower before bed?” 

“Mmhm.”

This time when they enter the shower, Ronan takes his time admiring Gansey’s body and Gansey does the same. He takes time to trace Ronan’s tattoo. After they get out, Gansey puts pajama bottoms on and Ronan pulls on Gansey’s boxers again. 

“Can I keep them to sleep in?” 

“Yeah. Whatever you want, babe.”

They crawl into Gansey’s bed, and this time, Ronan sleeps through the night. 

-

By the time Ronan slides into the passenger seat wearing his wrinkled uniform, they have about 10 minutes left to pick up Adam. 

“_ Where _ is your tie?” Ronan shrugs, and Gansey sighs dramatically. 

“How could you lose it in one night, Ronan?”

“I didn’t lose it, Gansey. It’s just in my room somewhere and you were rushing me around so we can pick up boy wonder.” Hands tighten around the steering wheel, and he’s reminded again of how strong Gansey is. 

“Fine, don’t wear it then Lynch.” With that Gansey pulls out of the parking lot, speeding over to St. Agnes for Adam. 

“Can we get something to eat?”

“No. You should have eaten at home, Ronan.” 

“But I wasn’t hungry then.” He whines like a toddler, which he knows Gansey detests. Gansey exhales for a longer beat than necessary, still focusing on the road ahead. Ronan waits for an answer and pouts when he isn’t given one.

They pull up to St. Agnes, and Adam is already standing by the road. The sweater he’s wearing is significantly fraying, and the hole on his right shoulder increased since last semester. For the millionth time, Ronan wonders where he got the uniform from in the first place.

“Hi guys,” the accent is thick today, he must be too tired to hide it, “How did you sleep?”

“Fine.” Apparently, Gansey is answering for both of them. 

Adam looks back and forth between Ronan, perplexed at the dark cloud over the car.

“Did you buy this for me, Gansey?” A new uniform is on the back seat next to him. 

“You left before I came home yesterday. I thought you might want another uniform for this year.” Gansey is bracing for a fight, and Ronan expects Adam to pitch a bitchfit about money. 

“Yeah, thanks.” This is so uncharacteristic, that both boys shoot up their eyebrows. “What? I do need a new one.”

“Well, now you have it.” And with that, Gansey heads to school. He pulls into a parking spot. Right next to Kavinsky. Ronan lulls his head back and closes his eyes. Trying to avoid -

Sharp knocking at the passenger seat window jerks his eyes open, but it’s just Proko. Proko is to Kavinsky as Ronan is to Gansey. Gansey rolls down the window, probably trying to get it over with. A strand of four condoms are immediately unfolded into Ronan’s lap followed with a bottle of lube and his face heats up. 

“These are for you and your master, faggot. From K.” Laughter follows as his pack of dogs circles the pig. Now, Kavinsky saunters his way over to the window.

“Fuck off and call your dogs away, Kavinsky,” Ronan growls. And Proko whistles. 

“Shut up, Ronan. I’m not talking to you. If I want to see your mouth open, I’ll let you know, Princess.” Proko snorts at the lewd remark, and Gansey grips the wheel so tight his veins bulge. “Gansey boy, did Ronan put out for you yet? He’s _ easy _.” Easy comes out with a sneer, and Ronan feels the blow in his chest. 

“Get away from my car, now, Kavinsky.” 

“Or what, Dick?”

Gansey slams open the driver’s door right into Jiang’s arm who yelps in pain and strides over to Kavinsky on the other side of the car. The pack backs away, suddenly afraid of Gansey’s anger. Ronan tries to get out, but Kavinsky slams the door shut. 

“Stay in the car, slut, this is for your daddy’s ears only.”

Gansey and Kavinsky are now facing one another, and Ronan realizes how short Gansey is in comparison. 

“Ronan,” Adam hisses barely above a whisper, Ronan forgot he was even there. He opens the back door, and Ronan crawls into the back to get out. He barrels behind Gansey and Adam follows, lingering further from the two. 

“Oh good, you brought trailer trash along too.” 

Gansey punches Kavinsky in the nose, hard, and blood splatters as he clutches his nose howling in pain.

“Gansey, Lynch, Kavinsky, and Parrish. Follow me, now.” Headmaster Childs is standing on the stairs five feet away, apparently watching the scene unfold. The rest of Kavinsky’s pack slinks off to their classes, and the four begrudgingly trudge into school. It’s a new record for Ronan to enter the Headmaster’s office five minutes after the first bell. He glances at Adam, who is fidgeting uncomfortably, afraid of the consequences. Gansey’s face is hardened. 

“Gentleman, surely on the first day of classes, we can avoid fighting?”

Kavinsky is still holding his nose like a bitch and starts whining about Gansey punching him out of nowhere. Gansey rolls his eyes.

“Mr. Kavinsky, perhaps if you’d like to avoid being punched, you should consider changing your behavior. I hardly see how circling around his car and antagonizing Lynch was unprovoking.” Kavinsky simmers, caught in his lies. “Now, Gansey apologizes to Kavinsky, please.” Gansey snorts. Adam gives a pleading look in their direction.

“I’m sorry, Kavinsky, for punching you in the nose. I’m also sorry you can’t handle rejection.”

“Gansey,” Headmaster Childs raises his left eyebrow, “the first apology was sufficient.” 

Kavinsky is furious now, and Ronan is glad Gansey is between them. 

“Now, the three of you are excused, Lynch stays here please.” Gansey, Kavinsky, and Adam leave the room, with lingering looks between Ronan and Childs. “Ronan, let’s not make this a habit already.”

“I didn’t do anything to him. He’s a cunt.”

“You are on thin ice, Lynch. If I see you here one more time, you’re expelled. Do you understand?”

“Whatever.”

“Additionally, here’s your class schedule, I picked it out especially for you.” He hands over the sheet of paper, and Ronan glances over it.

“Why the fuck am I in Calculus?” 

“Because you need an academic challenge, and you didn’t fill out the scheduling sheet last year.”

“Yes, I did.”

“‘Go fuck yourself’, is not a sufficient response to everything, Lynch. I’m aware you are having a hard time, but I have given you plenty of leniencies to improve upon your behavior. You are dismissed, head directly to your first period.”

Grumbling under his breath, he leaves, ambling to calculus. Fucker really chose the first period just so he flunks. He’s relieved to see Adam and slides next to him. 

“You ok?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it, man.”

“Alright, Gansey wants you to meet him before second.” 

Ronan nods. The class is boring as hell, and he has no idea what the teacher is droning on about for the next forty minutes. He rushes to meet Gansey at his locker as soon as the bell rings, and leans on the one to his left.

“It was so hot seeing you make Kavinsky bleed.”

“Love you too, Ronan.” His face heats up. “Let’s go to Latin.”

Ronan, Gansey, and Adam sit next to each other in the middle of the room. Ronan wrote a sexually explicit joke in Latin on the board in anticipation of the new teacher. The guy who strides in as the bell rings is _hot and_ surprisingly young. He takes his time reading the board, adding corrections with chalk, causing Adam to smirk.

“Who do I have the pleasure of thanking for opening up day one with humor?” Ronan raises his hand halfway. A smirk spreads over his face as he walks to Ronan’s desk. When he arrives, he puts his hand on the sides and slowly moves in until he is inches from Ronan’s face. His breath smells like spearmint gum. “Your Latin leaves much to be desired, but I find the joke overall to be entertaining.”

Ronan blushes furiously as all eyes turn to examine the exchange. “Thanks.” 

The man nods, heading back to the front of the classroom. He erases Ronan’s writing and sprawls Greenmantle across the board. “Now, as you can see, my name is Mr. Greenmantle and I will be your Latin teacher for the year.” 

Greenmantle takes attendance until he gets to Ronan’s name. “Lynch? Related to Niall Lynch?” 

“Yes.” All eyes on Ronan again.

“Sorry to hear about your father, Ronan. I rather admired him.” 

How the hell did a _Latin_ _teacher_ know his father? The man simply moves on to the end of the list. He sits fuming for the entire class, unable to calm his racing thoughts. In the end, while everyone files out, Ronan remains seated. Until the two are alone. 

“What can I do for you, Lynch?” The man hovers over his desk again, clearly having zero personal space manners.

“How the fuck did you know my dad?” This comes out quivering rather than the poisonous tone he aimed for. His bottom lip is twitching. He’s itching for a fight.

“As a business partner. I’m into unique artifacts, in fact, I’m searching for one currently. You wouldn’t happen to know about a Greywaren would you?”

He spits in the man’s face as a response, and it lands under his left eye. Greenmantle slaps him across the face hard, reminding him of Kavinsky. “Watch the attitude, Lynch. We wouldn’t want you to be expelled. What would your brother think?” 

He clenches his fist, and Greenmantle is smirking at him like he wants to be hit. As he raises his fist, the warning bell rings, and the next class files in. Ronan grabs his things, leaving, and Greenmantle slips back into teacher mode. 

As lunch begins, he makes his way over to Gansey and Adam, to their table. No one ever dares to intrude. Gansey looks up at him, sensing he’s irritated and pats the open spot next to him. Ronan sits down, and Gansey wraps his arm around his shoulder. 

“What happened? Kavinsky?” Ronan shakes his head no.

“Greenmantle. He did business with my father.” Adam and Gansey exchange a worried expression. Ronan continues. “He’s here for me. The Greywaren. I don’t think it’ll take him long to trace it to me.”

Overhead, the announcement chime rings. “Ronan Lynch, report to the office.”

“Fuck.”

“What?”

“Don’t worry about it.” He gathers his things, pecking Gansey’s cheek, and heads to the office.

The secretary nods at him, and he makes his way to the Headmaster’s office. Greenmantle is inside, leaning against the desk, engrossed in their conversation. When he enters, both pairs of eyes meet his. Greenmantle reminds him of a lion about to take down a gazelle. 

“Mr. Lynch, I felt that I made myself clear this morning. I was highly disappointed to hear you assaulted Mr. Greenmantle.” Ronan sneers.

“He started it.”

“Regardless, of who or what started it, assaulting a staff member is grounds for immediate expulsion. Clean out your locker, and return your textbooks to the secretary before leaving. You have fifteen minutes to step off my property.” 

Greenmantle is salivating with pleasure at this proclamation, grinning at Ronan. He gets up from the desk, humiliated, and walks out the door. Since Gansey drove, he’ll have to walk back to Monmouth and explain to Gansey why he is expelled. And Declan. Fuck. 

Kavinsky’s white Mitsubishi pulls up to the curb, nearly clipping Ronan. 

“Need a ride back to the castle, Princess?”

Ronan gets in the car. “Thanks.”

“Proko told me you got in big trouble, I have to say it lifted my spirits.” His nose is bandaged now. 

“How the fuck would he know?” Kavinsky lets out a long laugh.

“He finds out everything. A good dog. Like you.” 

He squeals out of the parking lot, heading the short distance to Monmouth. When they get there, he locks the car doors. And turns to Ronan.

“You didn’t think you were just leaving, did you? Get in the back now.” He’s feeling particularly bold, so instead of listening, he headbutts Kavinsky, hitting his nose. He howls in extreme pain. Ronan can’t get the damn door open and tries to elbow the window but it’s not breaking. 

“They’re bulletproof, bitch.” 

It’s only 1:00 which leaves two hours until Gansey comes home. It’ll be hard to fight for two hours in a car.

Kavinsky has clearly recovered, slamming his head into the dashboard to disorient him and manhandling Ronan roughly to the backseat. He uses his body weight to pin him to the backseat and yanks his slacks down. Ronan closes his eyes and tries to fall asleep. To be anywhere but in the car. Kavinsky enters him, and it causes searing pain, and he fucks him roughly. Ronan is crying so hard he’s gasping for air, and begging him to stop. Cries out for Gansey. His head is slammed into the door handle the moment the ‘y’ leaves his mouth, and pain explodes in his left cheek. Finally, after what seems like forever, he pulls out and cums all over Ronan’s sweater. 

“Get out.” 

The doors are finally unlocked, and Ronan tumbles out of the car. His pants are halfway down and he is wobbling. His head is reeling in pain, and he can’t figure out where he is. As soon as he is on the ground, Kavinsky tears out of the lot. Ronan passes out. 

-

As Gansey leaves eighth period, Adam catches up with him. 

“Where’s Ronan?”

“I can’t get ahold of him. Should we wait for him?”

“No, he probably ditched and went home.” Gansey sighs.

“What? Walked there?” He forgot that he drove them to school this morning. He tries to call again, getting Ronan’s voicemail. “Let’s wait a few minutes for him.” Gansey nods. 

After thirty minutes, they give up waiting and head out to the pig. “If he needs you, he’ll call.”

“Yeah,” but Gansey is unconvinced. 

“Could you please drop me off at the shop?”

They head to Boyd’s and Adam tells him to call when he finds Ronan. He promises. His first thought is the barns but without a car, it’s not likely. He heads back home to see if Ronan’s BMW is still in the lot. 

It is, and so is a body, and as Gansey pulls in he sees that it’s Ronan. Covered in dirt, with his pants pulled down. Facedown on the ground. God. He slams the car into park and gets out, running over. 

“Ronan, Jesus Christ.” Leaning down, he presses his fingers over his pulse. Shallow, but there. “Wake up, please.” His left cheek is swollen and bloody. There’s cum all over his back. What the _ fuck _?

Ronan opens his eyes, disoriented. “Gansey?” 

“Yeah, babe, it’s me. Let’s go inside okay?” 

He pulls Ronan’s pants up and helps him stand. Ronan leans a majority of his body weight onto him, causing him to stumble. Making it inside, after tripping twice, Gansey takes off Ronan’s clothes.

“I’m not really in the mood, Gansey.” 

“Shut up, Ronan. Just shut up, and stay still.” 

All he can see is red clouding his vision, he knows without a doubt who did this. Ronan obeys him, and he dresses him in clean clothes. Lays him down on his bed. Gets an ice pack, he needs to buy more of these. Wets a washcloth. Rubbing alcohol for his split cheek. 

It takes several minutes to clean and dress the cheek wound and gash on his forehead. Ronan holds the ice pack to his cheek afterward. Gansey doesn’t know what to say now. 

“Stay here.”

“Gansey, where are you going?”

“I said stay here. Get some rest. I’ll be back later.” He gets Ronan’s car keys and puts them in his pants so he doesn’t follow him. Ronan doesn’t say a word. 

When he pulls up to Kavinsky’s, his pack of dogs are meandering up the sidewalk. He ignores them and tries the front door. Open. 

“Kavinsky. Where the hell are you?”

“Right here.” Living room, sofa. Sprawled out, watching some explicit film. Gansey pulls the cable of the television out of the wall.

“What the fuck, Dick?”

The doorbell rings. He locked it behind him. Balling up Kavinsky’s t-shirt, he yanks him off the couch and onto the floor. The doorbell rings again. He kicks Kavinsky in the ribs three times in a row, causing blood to pool out of his mouth. “What part of you and Ronan were over, did you not understand? I told you to leave him alone, and yet twice today you -”

Kavinsky bites down on his ankle hard, and he screams in agony. Kavinsky spits blood onto the white carpet, and Gansey kicks him in the groin. He watches Kavinsky’s eyes roll back into his head and kicks him in the groin again. Trying to break his dick. He’s still angry, so he kicks Kavinsky in the chest. Kavinsky punches his knee out. He falls to his knees from the blow, and now Kavinsky punches him in the groin. Stars float in front of his eyes. 

“Fuck off Gansey, you don’t intimidate me. You can have your slut, I’m done with him.”

He claws at Kavinsky’s eyes, then uses Ronan’s car key to stab his left eyeball, and a guttural scream leaves his mouth. Suddenly, his arms are yanked behind him and he’s lifted up by two of the pack members. 

Proko helps Kavinsky off the ground. “What the hell are you doing, Douchebag?” 

He ignores Proko and makes eye contact with Kavinsky. Only his right eye is open, the left one is gushing blood. “If you ever touch Ronan again, I will fucking kill you.” He shoulders out of the grip of his lapdogs, and leaves, slamming the door behind him. The top part is made of etched glass, and three large cracks form in his wake.

He guns down the road, back to Ronan. 

-

When Gansey finally comes back, he has blood dripping into his boat shoes and gets the spare ice pack from the freezer, placing it on his crotch. He places Ronan’s keys on the counter, and there’s dried blood on them. There’s blood on his collar and Ronan has never been so attracted to Gansey. 

“Adam called. I told him I was ok.”

“That’s good, Ronan.” He can tell the adrenaline from the fight is fading fast, and Gansey starts slumping into his chair. 

“Where did you go, Gansey?” Stupid question. 

“Where do you think, Ronan?”

“Oh.”

“He got the message to leave you alone this time. Plus, I think his dick is broken.” 

Ronan smiles at that. He doesn’t know when to bring up the whole being expelled part of his day. 

“Thanks, Gansey. I’m sorry.”

“Why the hell were you even with him?” Ronan stares at the model apartment building he painted with Gansey. “Look at me, now, Ronan.” His eyes shoot back up to Gansey.

“I got expelled for fighting with Greenmantle. I didn’t want to bother you, so I was going to walk home. Kavinsky said he would give me a ride, I have no idea why I even got in the car. I thought we were cool. But he was really pissed off about this morning, I guess.” Gansey’s heads are in his hands now, his shoulders are shaking. “Gansey?” 

“So he raped you because I punched him?” Ronan feels like he got slapped again. 

“No. Because I broke up with him.” He’s not really sure but wants Gansey to calm down.

“And you were expelled? Not suspended. Expelled. For fighting a fucking teacher?”

Ronan gulps. “Yeah.” 

“Ronan.” The way he says his name this time is anything but warm. “How am I supposed to react to this?”

“I don’t know, Gansey.”

“When were you planning to tell me this?” Shame creeps up his throat.

“When you got home, but that obviously wasn’t a good idea since you’re pissed off.”

“I am pissed off,” Gansey’s tone is so sour, Ronan flinches, “I’m pissed off that you drove off with Kavinsky, got expelled and didn’t mention it to me, and that you fought Greenmantle. You’re so irresponsible. God.”

Ronan starts to cry now, and he tries to stop but he can’t. He wishes Gansey would just hit him instead of yelling at him. “Just fucking hit me.”

“What? Have you lost your fucking mind today, Ronan?”

“Please hit me.” And now he’s sobbing loudly. 

Gansey gets up, and he thinks maybe this time he will hit him, so he braces his body. Arms wrap around him instead. He can’t tell if this is a trick or not, so he stands still.

“Hug me back, Asshole.” He does. “I’m not hitting you.”

“Why not?”

“Because I told you I wouldn’t ever hit you, and I meant it. I will never treat you like Kavinsky did.” He hugs Gansey harder. “I’ll take care of Childs. You apologize to Greenmantle. What did you do, punch him?”

“I spit in his face, and he slapped me.” Gansey sighs. “Can we do more buildings?” 

“Yes. I’ll get the paint out.” 

They paint and draw four more apartment buildings, and Gansey makes a post office. Ronan paints more people, terrified people. All with frozen screams, watching their neighbor dangle from the top floor apartment window. It’s 4:30 AM when Gansey cleans up. He takes the paintbrush out of Ronan’s hand and looks at the scene. 

“Is that you, Ronan?”

He nods his head, there’s no point in lying to Gansey anymore. 

“Are you going to hurt yourself?”

“I told you it wasn’t on purpose. I didn’t try to kill myself last year.” Gansey’s eyes flicker to the deep scars clawing up his wrist. 

“I mean now.”

“Maybe. I don’t know.” This is the more honest thing he’s said all day. “Do you still want to be my boyfriend?”

“What? Don’t be ridiculous, of course.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Ronan. I’m sure,” Gansey trails off for a few minutes. “Come to bed Ronan. You’re coming with me to school tomorrow.”

“It’s too early in the morning to sleep now, Gansey.”

“Yeah I know but I want to hold you in bed. Is that okay?”

“Please.”

At 7:30, Gansey pulls up to pick up Adam. Today, Ronan is wearing his tie. Gansey leans over to fix it again, while Adam yanks the back door open. The ride to school is completely silent, Ronan tries to play music and he turns the radio off immediately. Adam gets out of the car and heads to homeroom after nodding goodbye to them. 

“Now, Ronan. Let me do all of the talking. Come on.”

They walk to the office, and the morning secretary raises her eyebrow at Ronan. She was friends with Aurora Lynch, so she’s always softer with him. 

“Sweetie, you were expelled. As much as I love seeing you, you can’t be on school grounds.”

“Margaret, we need to talk to Childs, please.” He pleads with eyes as well, and her face pinches together in sympathy. Gansey is impressed.

“Alright. Sit down, boys.” 

Headmaster Childs comes in and sighs loudly when he makes eye contact with Ronan. “Follow me, boys.” 

They both sit at his desk, and Ronan waits for Gansey to start smoothing over the situation.

“What can I do for you, Gansey?”

“Reconsider his expulsion, please. Ronan knows he made a mistake, and he only argued with Greenmantle because he publicly embarrassed him in class. He also made a negative comment about his father, so you could imagine his anger. Furthermore, considering he spit on Greenmantle and Greenmantle slapped him, it would seem that he was the victim. Greenmantle is what, 30? Why exactly is he hitting a 16-year-old boy?”

The Headmaster and Ronan are both completely speechless at this. Gansey continues.

“Additionally, as you and I both know, my father has made a sizeable donation to the science wing this semester. My father would be extremely disappointed to hear that Ronan was expelled after being physically assaulted by a teacher you hired.”

“Are you threatening me, Gansey?”

“No. Just explaining what will happen when my father finds out. You can choose to keep him expelled, or we can forget this all happened and head to first period. My father can be none the wiser to this little incident. Also, Ronan needs to be in classes with me, and not in calculus. Take it or leave it.”

Ronan is terrified. Is this what Gansey’s been doing for him all this time? How the hell is he intimidating Childs?

“Get to class now. Both of you.”

Gansey grabs his hand and leads him down the hallway, past the Calculus classroom. Into European History. Of course, the nerd would make this first period, he rolls his eyes.

“‘Thank you Gansey for saving my ass’,” Gansey mocks his voice. “Let’s hear it.”

Ronan clears his throat. “Thank you Gansey for being a really good boyfriend.”

Two boys look over at them, and Ronan glares until they look away. Gansey smiles at him and they take seats. This is much better than Calculus. Five minutes after class starts, Kavinsky ambles in, Proko lingering behind. Ronan feels like he’s going to puke when he sees him. 

He looks awful. His left eye has been partially gouged out leaving only blackness, his nose is taped up again, his jaw is heavily bruised. He moves slowly clutching his side and stumbles into class. His ribs must be broken, he gasps in pain as he sits down. Ronan wonders if his dick really broke. He hopes so. 

Gansey did that to him. He’s suddenly glad Gansey doesn’t want to hit him now. 

“Mr. Kavinsky, this is history, not the hospital.” Several snickers fill the room. No one actually likes him.

“I’m aware. I’m in this class.” The teacher checks the roster. 

“So you are. Well, let’s begin today’s lesson.”

Kavinsky completely avoids Ronan, not looking their way once. He genuinely is afraid of Gansey. Gansey walks out behind Ronan at the end of class, rubbing his back. They walk into Latin and sit next to Adam. Adam looks rather impressed to see Ronan, and he can’t really blame him. Greenmantle ambles in. 

Making direct eye contact with Ronan, he winks. Ronan glares. 

“Lynch. Can you tell me how to say ‘I’m impressed’ in Latin?”

“I sum impressa.” Greenmantle smirks.

He doesn’t reply, just instructs the class on imperfect tenses. Ronan wants to break his nose. It’s so straight. Unlike him. Why is he drooling over this jackass? He sighs and puts his head down on his desk. 

“Lynch, see me after class.” Gansey gives him a concerned look, but he mutters he’ll be right there. He and Adam leave for lunch. Now the classroom is empty. “I really have to express how pleasantly surprised I am to see you.” 

Ronan snorts. “Why because your little expulsion plan fell through?”

“Yes. Also, because our conversation veered yesterday, and I wanted to continue it.”

“And I want to break your nose. We can’t all get what we want.”

“Listen, you little faggot. If you don’t start respecting me, you’re going to find your loved ones’ brains splattered on a pavement. If you think you can intimidate me in any way, you are completely wrong, don’t fucking push me.” 

At this, Ronan flinches. All he can think of is his father, lying in the driveway, beaten to death.

The tardy bell rings. Greenmantle keeps his gaze on him. 

“I don’t believe you.”

Greenmantle laughs loudly, hysterically. This guy is seriously unhinged, Ronan realizes. “Let’s test it on your boy toy then. See if he makes it through the day.”

“No. Please, I’m sorry.” Where the _ fuck _ is the next class?

“Get on your knees and try that again.”

“Seriously?” Greenmantle doesn’t respond. His face heats up. He gets down on his knees, eye level with his hips. Looking up into Greenmantle’s eyes, he repeats himself. 

“One more time, with more passion behind it Ronan.” He looks toward the door, hoping some kid will come in. Hoping Noah will come in for some reason, even though he never is here. “Now, Ronan.” 

“Please, don’t hurt Gansey. I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.” The words tumble out of his mouth.

“Much better. You’re dismissed.”

He gets up, feeling like a fucking moron and heads to lunch. He’s 15 minutes late, and Gansey is boring holes into his head as he gets lunch scooped onto a tray. He hands the woman his AMEX, looking at Gansey across the room. He’s staring back. 

“Your card has been declined.”

“Excuse me?” 

“Your card is declined. Do you have another form of payment, or not?”

“You’re mistaken.”

“I ran it twice, doing it a third time won’t change it. Now how are you paying?”

There’s still a bunch of boys behind him, visibly irritated at the hold-up. 

“Put it on my bill, Grace.” The hair on the back of his neck stands up as Greenmantle appears.

“Fine, move out of the way kid.”

“What the fuck,” he hisses, as Greenmantle walks next to him, smiling. “Why is my card declined?”

“Who do I look like, your Mother? I don’t know. But I thought since you were so sweet earlier, I’d do you a favor.”

“I thought you had class.”

“Not anymore, I switched it to my lunch hour. So you and I can get to know each other better this year.” With that, he slaps his back in a friendly way and leaves. 

“Where the hell were you? And what happened to your card?”

“Hi, Ronan.”

“I was just talking to Greenmantle, and it was declined, I have to call later to find out. Hi, Adam.”

“What were you two talking about?”

“The tooth fairy, Gansey.” He rolls his eyes and continues, “He just asked me about the Greywaren again, and said he’s impressed I’m not expelled.”

“Be careful with him, okay?” He nods and starts eating his food. 

Kavinsky is four tables away with his crowd, not making eye contact again. Afraid of Gansey again. He would be too if he looked like that after one fight. He thinks about all the times he lied on the floor bleeding and is comforted that Kavinsky finally got a taste of his own medicine. 

Adam starts droning on about some biology packet due tomorrow and that he has to work at the factory tonight. Gansey reassures him and asks him about his apartment. Ronan stays silent and eats his food. The rest of the day passes without incident, and he enjoys having classes with Gansey and Adam. Adam comes over after school. 

Gansey makes spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. He makes Ronan help, even though he hasn’t cooked anything since his dad died. He likes cooking with Gansey though, he makes it fun. Adam reads, smiling at them every so often. Noah appears and they all sit in the model Henrietta, eating the pasta. 

“I like the apartments you added, Gansey.”

“Ronan did those.”

“Oh. Good job, jackass.”

“Thanks, asshole.” 

“Kavinsky looks terrible,” Noah says, “You really fucked him up, Gansey.”

“You did?” Adam is looking at Gansey now.

“Yeah. He kept messing with Ronan, I had to teach him a lesson.” 

Adam whistles. “Remind me never to piss you off again, Ronan.” Ronan laughs. 

At 6, Gansey drives Adam back to his apartment so he can get ready for work. Ronan kisses him goodbye and gives Adam a hug.

When he turns around, Noah is still there, but faded. “Want to help wash the dishes?”

Noah nods and helps him carry the plates. “I’m sorry about what happened to you yesterday, Ronan.” Ronan’s shoulders tense up. 

“Were you there?”

“I found you and was with you until Gansey got there. I was scared you would die if I left you.”

“Thanks for staying with me.” He’s sheepish that Noah knows what happened. 

“You could tell someone what he did to you, Ronan. Get him in trouble.”

“Gansey took care of it already. And he never is in trouble.”

“Okay, well, I’m here if you need someone to talk to.”

“Can you not tell Adam? Please.”

“I won’t, man. That’s personal.” 

In one week, he’s gotten his ass kicked three times, peed his pants, had sex with his best friend, and gotten raped. He has no idea how he keeps getting into these situations. He’s scared Gansey will want to have sex, and if he’ll want to. He realizes Noah is gone, probably to give him space.

Gansey comes inside ten minutes later. “Ronan, I want to talk to you.”

“It terrified me to see Kavinsky today. Of what you’re really capable of.” Gansey inhales sharply at this, and his face contorts into a mixture of guilt and anger.

“After what he did to you, he deserved to fucking rot in hell.” Ronan flinches. “But I’m sorry I scared you. I was so angry, Ronan. I would have killed him if Proko hadn’t -” Now his face falls admitting his guilt at saying this out loud. 

“I know he was terrible to me, but I can’t deny that I still have feelings toward him, Gansey. He’s not the only one to blame, I let him treat me that way. You know him and his friends used to fuck me, Gansey? In his basement.”

Gansey’s mouth just forms an O, seemingly unable to come up with words. For the first time in probably his life, he’s silent. Ronan continues.

“I didn’t tell you, because I was in love with you, and it was humiliating. But after my dad, I needed something, anything. And this summer, Kavinsky offered me to dance with the devil and I accepted. I wasn’t in love with him, but he gave me a mix of pleasure and pain that eased my guilt. Every time he punched me, or strangled me until passing out, or watched as Proko would fuck me, all I could feel was that I deserved it. They would pass me around, make me give them blowjobs whenever. Taunt me about being a slut. So, now I’ll ask you again, after hearing that, do you still want to be with me?” Ronan is winded, and Gansey looks shell-shocked. He has never once said this much to Gansey in the two years of knowing him. He just stands there, after expressing one of his biggest secrets he feels drained. 

“Yes.” Ronan is in disbelief.

“Yes, what?”

“I want to be with you. I don’t care about what you and Kavinsky did, or his friends using you like that. All I care about is that you are safe, and happy, Ronan. If you’d rather go back to Kavinsky, than be with me, I’m not chaining you here. You can make your own decisions. But I do want you to know, that Kavinsky could never fall in love with you. And if you can really stand here thinking that I would leave you simply for learning something I don’t like about you, maybe we shouldn’t be together. Do you think that I don’t get pissed off when you give me an attitude every day? Or take out your anger on me and Adam? Ignore your brother who only wants the best for you? When you drink yourself into oblivion? Yes. I do. Ronan, I want to be with you, all of you, even the nasty parts.” Ronan is having trouble processing everything because Gansey’s speech is becoming frenzied at this point. “Let me ask you something now.”

“Okay, Gansey.”

“Are you going to see Kavinsky again?”

“No. I don’t want to see him, Gansey.”

“Good. Now I want to say one more thing, and then you can leave if you want to.” 

Ronan doesn’t know what he wants anymore, but his head is spinning. He nods.

“I love you. I want to be with you. I want to help you. But I’m worried about you, a lot. It seems like you keep slipping back into harmful situations for yourself. I can’t watch you destroy yourself, any longer. That being said, if you chose to keep acting out, you will find yourself homeless. Am I clear?” 

Now Ronan feels the tears release before even absorbing what was said. “Is being raped considered acting out, Gansey?”

“Don’t be stupid, Ronan. I mean you taunting Greenmantle, and running off with Kavinsky.” 

“You blame me for both, then?”

“No, Ronan.” This is not said as firmly as his previous statements. 

“Is that it?”

“Yes.”

Ronan shoulders past him, just to bump into him, even though it’s unnecessary. He storms outside to his car, starting it up and recklessly pulling it out of the lot. His car rams into the pig, which is purely an accident, and he watches the passenger side door as it’s crumbled in the impact. He simply reverses and leaves.

As his speedometer reads 90, his vision is flooded with hot tears. How the hell could Gansey say that shit to him? After he told him everything, he threatened to take away Monmouth. When he has nowhere else to go. He has no idea where he is going but drives around for hours. 

He finally pulls up to Greenmantle’s house, which was surprisingly easy to find out from school files. Margaret keeps leaving the cabinets unlocked. He gets out, and clamors up to the door, pounding with his fist. Greenmantle opens the door, standing in briefs. Looking at Ronan as if it is normal for him to be here at 2:30 AM on a Wednesday. 

“What, Lynch?”

“If I tell you about the stupid Greywaren, what are you planning to do with it?”

“Sell it.” Greenmantle smirks at Ronan’s indignation.

“What if it’s not an object?” 

“Come in, Ronan. It’s rather cold standing here in my briefs.” 

He reluctantly crosses the threshold, taking his time to follow Greenmantle into the living room. Greenmantle has a six-pack, and his briefs are packed. Ronan tries not to stare at his crotch.

“Now, what else would the Greywaren be?” Ronan is startled as if forgetting the entire reason he is here. 

“Nothing. It doesn’t exist, moron.” 

“Remember what I told you earlier today. I won’t play games. If you have nothing useful to say get out of my house.”

“No.”

“Would you like scotch then?” Greenmantle is a fucking enigma. 

“Yes.” 

Greenmantle gets up and walks over to an end table adorned with various liquors. He pours two glasses with scotch, filling one up more than the other. He walks over to Ronan, handing him the emptier one. Ronan takes it. He feels awkward at first, drinking with his enemy, but the burn of scotch as it slides down his throat makes him relax.

“More?”

Greenmantle wordlessly hands him his glass, and he finishes it. Greenmantle is staring at a painting across the room, deep in thought.

“Do you want a blowjob?”

Greenmantle jumps, startled by Ronan’s voice. “Why?”

“Because I need something else to do with mouth besides saying stupid shit tonight.” 

“I’m not opposed.”

“How old are you?”

“28.”

12 years. Ronan doesn’t care. 

He gets off the couch, sinking to his knees in front of Greenmantle. There’s no resistance as he pulls his dick out of his briefs, licking the underside of his shaft. He licks it a few more times, before swallowing him fully. Greenmantle stops breathing and is leaking pre-cum. He feels a hand on the back of his skull, pushing him further down. Greenmantle is moaning and calling Ronan filthy names, he likes it, watches the curve of the man’s lips. He finds himself turned on with how much power Greenmantle holds over him. He is reminded of Kavinsky. Gansey would be disgusted. Fuck.

He forgot about Gansey. 

Greenmantle cums and he has no choice but to swallow it down. When he’s done, he cleans him up and tucks him back into his briefs. He stays on his knees, waiting for their breathing to return back to normal. He’s ashamed that he gave his fucking teacher a blowjob. 

“Perhaps you should keep your mouth shut about this, Ronan.” 

It’s not a question, and he just nods. He scrambles to his feet, and Greenmantle’s eyes move toward his crotch. His jeans are slick from his own cum, and he wants desperately to melt into the floor right about now. 

“You seem to have enjoyed yourself. Well, if you find out anything else about the Greywaren, I suppose you know my address. See yourself out, please.”

As he leaves, he knows he can’t go back to Monmouth like this. Gansey will be awake, fuming over their argument and the damage to the pig. Adam seems like a better choice.

He heads over to St. Agnes. The church door creaks as he opens it, sounding louder than an explosion due to the silence. He finds himself kneeling in a pew, asking for forgiveness. He’s not sure about which behavior he's referring to. Adam appears behind him and puts his hand on his shoulder.

“Ronan, are you ok?”

“No. I messed up again, Adam.”

“Come upstairs, we can talk.”

“I don’t want to talk about it. Can we just sleep?”

“Yeah, okay.” 

Adam doesn’t say anything when he sees his pants, just turns and Ronan follows him up to the apartment. Adam hands him a pillow and he sleeps on the wooden floor. 

-

Gansey has never been so angry in his life. Even when he heard the BMW crash, he refused to go outside. As Ronan peeled out of the lot, he became even more pissed off. He headed down to the parking lot and saw the passenger door folded in on itself like an accordion. Asshole. 

All he can think about is where Ronan went. He doesn’t want to think about Kavinsky, so he hopes it was Adam’s. Or even the Barns.

He adds more buildings to the town. He stares at the man dangling out of his apartment window. Wonders for the hundredth time tonight if he went too far threatening Ronan like that. At 3 AM, he heads to bed, feeling more lonely than usual.

At 7:30, he pulls up to Adam’s and Ronan is there. He’s still in his jeans and black tank top, but there’s dried cum on his leg. Gansey’s eyes narrow. Adam and Ronan slide into the backseat, waiting for Ganey to head to school. He shifts the gear into park. 

“Where were you, Ronan?”

“None of your fucking business, Gansey.” Said with his usual snarl. As if he wasn’t moaning his name hours ago. 

“Kavinsky?”

“No.” He knows Ronan isn’t lying, but nothing else is offered up either. 

Gansey puts the car into 1st gear and heads to Aglionby. Adam practically bolts the second Gansey pulls into a spot and is out of the car before he fully stops. Ronan waits in the back.

“So are you even bothering to come to school today?”

“I’m fucking here now.”

“You can’t walk in without a uniform, Ronan.”

“Whatever.”

“So what is your answer?”

“To what?”

“Are we still together?”

“Am I kicked out of Monmouth?”

“No.”

“Then yeah.”

“Fine, tell me where you were then.”

“Out being a slut.”

With that, he flings the backseat door open and starts walking across the parking lot to the school. Gansey is seething, riled up like a feral dog. He follows behind and strides over to Ronan quickly. Grabbing Ronan’s arm, he forces him to spin around.

“With who?” His voice comes out in a low growl, a warning sound. 

“I don’t kiss and tell, Gansey.” 

He desperately wanted to punch Ronan in the mouth at the retort but remembered his promise. Letting go of his arm, he stares into Ronan’s eyes. Ronan stands still, waiting for Gansey to speak.

“Apologize now, Ronan. I can’t believe you crashed into my car.”

“It really was an accident.”

“I don’t care if it was or not. It’s still fucked up.”

“I’m sorry for hitting your precious car. I know it means more to me than you.” 

“Shut the hell up, Ronan. You don’t know anything.” 

“Boys, enough with the lover’s quarrel. You’re late for first period.” Gansey looks up at the voice, Greenmantle. Of course. Ronan’s face turns three shades of red when he hears the voice.

“With _ him _?” Gansey is seeing red. “Answer me, Ronan.” He sounds truly unhinged, and he knows it. 

“Yes.”

He slaps Ronan so suddenly and hears an echo from the impact. Ronan looks at him with empty eyes. 

“We’re done,” Gansey snarls, heading up the stairs. “Pedophile,” He spits out at Greenmantle.

He slides into his seat in history, and Ronan doesn’t show up. He doesn’t show up to a single class. He skips Latin, unable to look at Greenmantle. At lunch, he sits at their table, Adam doesn’t say a word. Neither does he.

That’s when he sees Ronan saunter over to Kavinsky’s table. He taps his shoulder, and Kavinsky turns to the right to see him better. His sunglasses remain in place. Ronan exchanges words and Kavinsky’s gaze flickers to Gansey and Adam. He can’t hear what’s being said. Kavinsky looks back at Ronan. 

“I’m not interested, Lynch. Run back to your master.” This is loud, overheard by most of the cafeteria. Skov, Swan and Jiang snicker.

“No one likes a slut, Ronan,” this is followed by Proko. “Even a good one like you.” 

“Please.” Ronan is desperate, and Gansey starts getting pissed off again. He knew he would crawl back to Kavinsky. Or Greenmantle apparently. 

“Then say it.” Kavinsky snarls the sentence, a heavy emphasis on ‘it’. 

“Fuck Gansey.” The cafeteria erupts in laughter, none of it kind. Gansey turns scarlet. Kavinsky makes eye contact with him and smirks. 

“Let’s go, bitch,” getting up with his pack he saunters out of the cafeteria. Ronan follows obediently. Gansey watches him leave. 

-

When Kavinsky’s dick slides in, Ronan whimpers and Proko shoves his dick down his throat. He wanted to be full, so he agreed to an Eiffel tower. He is fucked mercilessly until his brain is nothing but white noise. He barely registers as they both cum and Swan and Jiang move into position. Jiang hits his prostate incessantly causing Ronan to groan in ecstasy. He whimpers when the two cum and leaves him empty. Skov fucks his mouth. He swallows.

When the five are done with him, he’s gripped around the throat by Kavinsky. 

“You know, Ronan, when your daddy gave me these scars, I thought about killing you. So tempting. Still tempting.” 

He can barely breathe, and the fingers continue to tighten as Kavinsky speaks. “Maybe I’ll choke you to death.”

The pack behind him is laughing. Cum trickles from his ass. He is still hard. Kavinsky stares into his eyes. He hates when he takes his sunglasses off. His eyes are a dark gray, and appear empty. Ronan is afraid that he’ll hurt him as Gansey did. “Ronan, I hope you’re not thinking of daddy. You know how I feel about that.” Kavinsky chuckles drily at his own humor. 

“Please.” He chokes the word out, gasping halfway through as Kavinsky tightens his grip.

“Please what?”

“Hit me.”

Kavinsky lets go of his throat, and he inhales sharply, coughing from the sudden oxygen. Kavinsky reels back his foot and kicks him in the ribs. Three times. Blood splatters out of his mouth and onto the wooden floorboards. He kicks him in the dick and his vision explodes into white. Ronan doesn’t try to fight back. His foot collides with his nose, and he hears the break before feeling the bone crunch. This is what he wants. Blood trickles down his nostrils, into his gasping mouth. He is yanked up by his throat. Staring right at him, Kavinsky sneers. He watches his mouth open and when the spit splatters onto his cheek, he flinches. 

“You dumb whore.” Kavinsky punches him in the eye, forcing him backward with the blow. 

Proko gets up from the couch and pins his arms behind his back as if he would try to fight back. Kavinsky punches him in the stomach twice. He gasps in pain. 

“Where are you going to live now that daddy disowned you,” Kavinksy is smug. “Are you moving in with trailer trash?” Ronan shakes his head. “You think I’ll let you live here?” Now Kavinsky starts laughing hysterically. “Boys, take the trash out.”

Ronan is thrown onto the curb, naked and covered in blood and cum. He has nowhere to go. Fuck. He doesn’t even have clothes to cover his shame, and he tries to cover his dick with his hands as he makes a break for it. Greenmantle lives on the next street. He tries the door, and it’s open. 

“What the _ fuck _?” Greenmantle is with another guy. Shit. The guy is dressed in all gray, and his skin even looks gray. “What are you doing, Lynch? Where are your clothes?”

The gray man takes off his jacket, handing it to Ronan and Ronan gratefully ties it around his waist. “Move over. I don’t want your blood on my white carpet.” He does. He stands on the cold tile in the foyer, listening to the splatter of blood trailing onto the hard surface reminding him of the IV his mother had in the hospital. “Why are you here?” 

“I don’t have anywhere else to go, ok?” Greenmantle laughs and the Gray Man gives him a perplexed look. “Please help me.”

“You must have a concussion because I distinctly remember telling you to come back with information about the Greywaren. Not for pity. Get the hell out of my house, now.” 

Ronan leaves, and the Gray Man does not ask for the jacket back. At least he isn’t stark naked. The Gray Man opens the front door and he whirls around. “I’m leaving, please.”

“Where are you going?”

“I don’t know.”

The Gray Man motions for him to follow, and walks to a red Subaru. Ronan opens the passenger side door and gets in silently. They head over to a seedy motel on fourth street and the man parks. Ronan makes eye contact.

“If you want to fuck just tell me.”

“Why would I want to have sex with a kid, Jesus Christ. You need a shower and some clothes. Let’s go.”

Ronan enters the room and realizes this man has been staying there for a long time. Ronan heads to the bathroom, he puts the shower on the hottest setting. When he gets out, the blood and cum swirled away by the drain, he wraps a towel around his waist. His chest is a dark purple, his eye swollen, his nose is most definitely broken. He walks out into the room. It’s cold. 

“These are all I have,” the Gray Man says handing him an entirely gray outfit and shoes. “I hope you’re a size 10 shoe.” Ronan nods. 

“What’s your name?”

“Mr. Gray. Do you want me to realign your nose?” Ronan nods again.

“I’m Ronan.” The man snaps his nose back into place and the pain is excruciating. He pretends he didn’t howl and clears his throat. “Why do you live in a motel?”

“Aren’t you homeless?”

“Yeah.”

“Then I’m better off at least. I’m here temporarily, for business.”

Ronan gets dressed in silence, the man looks at his cell phone to give him privacy. The clothes are too large on him, but the shoes fit. He rolls the pant legs up twice. “Why did you help me?”

“I am not an emotional man, Ronan. But that doesn’t mean I’m heartless. You looked pathetic and were naked, I felt bad.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Get some rest.” He drops onto the bed like lead and is out instantly. 

When he wakes up, Mr. Gray is sleeping on the other side of the bed, facing Ronan. The man is strikingly handsome when he sleeps, and he stares for a few minutes. Then he takes a detail of his body. His ribs have been taped up, and a melted ice pack was on his throat. His eye and nose are both covered with gauze. There’s a Chinese food bag on the desk. He walks over hungrily and gets out a chicken lo mein platter. He heats it up in the microwave, hoping that it was meant for him. He sits at the desk and eats it as quietly as possible. 

“Is it good?” He jumps. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“Yes. Thank you for dinner and dressing me.” Ronan coughs, feeling uncomfortable with kindness. Why is this guy being so nice?

“I’m not going to starve you.” Mr. Gray rolls his eyes. “Who beat you up like that?”

“You wouldn’t know him.”

“Tell me anyway.” 

“Joseph Kavinsky. I wanted him to do it. I cheated on my boyfriend and he broke up with me.”

“Hm. So you wanted to get beaten to death?”

“To feel something. Anything.” 

Mr. Gray just looks at him. He can’t read the expression, but he can see the same emptiness flicker briefly behind the man’s eyes. “Was your boyfriend Kavinsky?”

“No. It was Gansey. I lived with him in an apartment.”

“How old are you, Ronan?”

“16.” 

“And you lived with another teenage boy? Where are your parents?”

“Dead.” Mr. Gray flinches at this but quickly gathers his composure. 

“I’m sorry.”

“It doesn’t matter.” 

“Of course it does. Where are you planning to stay now?”

“I have nowhere to go.” 

“Well, you can stay with me for a few weeks. Until I leave.” 

Ronan is too tired to continue the conversation and walks over to Mr. Gray. He leans in for a hug, and the man wraps his arms around him slowly. Careful not to touch his ribs.

-

The next day when Ronan wakes up at 7, and he asks Mr. Gray to take him to school. The man begrudgingly wakes up, sliding on shoes, and grabs his car keys. 

“Sorry, my car is at school, but Kavinsky has my keys.”

“It’s fine, just tell me where it is.” 

He does. When they pull up, students are filing in.

“Are you supposed to be wearing a uniform?”

“This is close enough. Pick me up at 3?”

“Sure.” 

Ronan slides out of the car and heads into the school. He gets a lot of stares as he strides to history, wearing all gray. He slides into his seat as the bell rings. 

“Mr. Lynch, where is your uniform?”

Kavinsky snickers. “At my house.”

The teacher sighs, and Gansey makes eye contact. His eyes flicker away.

“Who gave you clothes, freak? Last we saw you, you were naked.” His face heats up at Proko’s comment. The class erupts into laughter. 

The door opens and Greenmantle is standing there. If looks could kill, he would have dropped dead from Gansey’s glare. “Mr. Lynch. Come with me.” 

“For what, Colin?” his teacher says.

“Your car is being towed.” Ronan is up instantly, shouldering past him. Hearing Kavinsky and Proko howling with laughter. Gansey is behind them.

“Why is his car being towed?”

“Because it is being considered abandoned, Gansey.” He talks to him in a mocking tone.

“I don’t have my keys.”

“Well, it seems like you keep getting into odd predicaments, Lynch.”

“Where are they?” Gansey is looking over his wounds.

“Kavinsky.” Gansey’s eyes light up in anger. As if it’s just connected. Great.

“Luckily for you, I have a spare.” Gansey holds it out to him after pulling it off his keyring. “In case you lost them.” 

“You had a spare this whole time?”

“No, I made it after Kavinsky held your keys hostage the first time.” Ronan murmurs thanks and heads out to the parking lot, trailed by Greenmantle and Gansey. 

Gansey smooth talks the tow truck driver into not towing the car and Ronan lets him. 

Greenmantle heads back inside, leaving the two standing in silence. 

“I’m sorry Gansey.”

“Yeah. Well, I’m sorry for slapping you.”

“I deserved it.”

“No, you didn’t. I was just so angry at you.”

“How do I look?”

“Awful.” 

“I was hoping you would say beautiful.” The corners of Gansey’s mouth lift a little.

“Where are you staying, Ronan?”

“This guy, Mr. Gray.”

“How’d you meet him?”

“He knows Greenmantle.”

“Is he a pedophile?”

“No. He just wanted to help me. He gave me his clothes and bandaged me up.” Gansey’s face softens and he sighs. 

“Ok.”

“Should we go back?” Gansey nods and by the time they get in, Latin is about to start. The two slide into the seats next to Adam. Some of the boys are also from history and snicker at Ronan. Mr. Greenmantle slides in just as the bell rings. 

“Everyone take out a pencil. We’re having a pop quiz on the terms reviewed yesterday.”

Adam turns to Gansey and Ronan, who both were absent. Ronan grits his teeth as the papers are passed back. He doesn’t know a single term and leaves it blank. It looks like Gansey is trying to guess, his eyebrows are forming the crinkle he loves. The tip of the pencil’s eraser is pinched between Gansey’s lips and Ronan feels a pulse of ecstasy. 

“Mr. Lynch, eyes on your own paper.” His eyes dart up in Greenmantle’s direction, and he glares. 

He strides up with his blank paper and places it on Greenmantle’s desk. “I’m not doing your stupid quiz.” 

Greenmantle smirks and writes Ronan’s name in red. Then puts a large zero on the quiz. “Sit down, then.” He goes back to his seat, fuming.

More laughter from the class. He must get off on being humiliated. Gansey looks at him, with pity. Adam brings his quiz up to Greenmantle.

“Good job, Parrish. Perhaps you should tutor Lynch.” Ronan is fuming. Adam blushes and sits down. Other boys hand in the quiz and Gansey is the last one.

“Not your best work, Gansey.” Gansey grits his teeth in response and sits next to Ronan again. 

“Now, let’s review for your test this Friday.” Kids groan in response. The bell rings thirty minutes later.

Ronan, Adam, and Gansey sit at their usual table. Kavinsky saunters over, and Ronan knows it’s not going to be pleasant. His ego seems to be back in check, with his signature shades drawn and nasty smirk in place. Leaning over Ronan, he speaks.

“Forgive and forget, huh, Gansey?” 

“Let the one who has yet to sin cast the first stone, Kavinsky.”

“Did you have fun guzzling cum yesterday, Ronan?” He looks down at the table to avoid making eye contact with Adam and Gansey. Wishing he was anywhere but here. “I asked you a question.” 

“Leave me alone.” Kavinsky laughs at him. 

“You always act so innocent in front of daddy and mommy, but you can’t fool me.”

Proko saunters up behind Gansey. “What are you doing, K?”

“Talking to a whore, what does it look like?” 

“Looks like he wants Gansey to save him,” Skov adds popping up behind Adam. “‘Oh Gansey, Oh Gansey, Oh Gansey.’ Like anyone wants to hear that shit. You sound better with cock down your throat.” Jiang is in his peripheral vision. 

“Ronan, are you sore?” Jiang kicks his shin and he hisses. “You were grateful for me yesterday when I had you whimpering.” 

“Shut up.” Kavinsky slams Ronan’s face into the table.

“You don’t talk to us like that you piece of shit. Don’t act like you don’t love taking it.” Gansey and Adam are still silent. People are glancing over. “Not even your daddy gives a fuck about you, now.” Ronan is going to start crying. Proko can tell. Shit.

“Don’t cry, sweetie. You can ride my cock again if you want to.” Proko leans over close to his face, and Ronan spits on him. Proko slaps him hard in retaliation and now the whole cafeteria is staring at them in silence. “Cunt.”

Gansey stands up and makes his way to Kavinsky. They are chest to chest. “What part of never touching him again or I’ll kill you did you not understand?”

“He begged me for it, Gansey. Guess your dick isn’t that great.”

Gansey snarls, pushing Kavinsky backward onto the corner of the table, he groans when his head crashes into the corner. By this point, Mr. Weathers grabs Gansey and pulls him away. Kavinsky is yanked up by Greenmantle. 

“Gentlemen, what on earth is going on?” Mr. Lion booms.

Ronan looks up to see Mr. Gray. “Mr. Gray?”

“Come on, Ronan. I think it’s time you left.” First Mr. Gray makes his way to Kavinsky.

“Are you Joseph Kavinsky?” 

“Yeah,” Kavinsky snarls. Mr. Gray calmly holds his shoulder and promptly dislocates it. Kavinsky gives a blood-curdling scream. Mr. Gray grabs his right arm and snaps it, exposing the bone. Kavinsky’s eyes roll back into his head in pain. His pack backs up in fear. Greenmantle does nothing but watch. 

“Let’s go now, Ronan.” He silently follows Mr. Gray out of the cafeteria. Followed by Gansey and Adam. They’re standing outside the back of the school.

“What the fuck was that, man?”

“Seemed like you needed help. Are you his ex-boyfriend?” Gansey looks at Ronan and nods. “Well, he has terrible self-preservation skills.”

“I know. How did you do that to Kavinsky?”

Mr. Gray just smirks. A lot like Greenmantle, which intimidates him. “I know how to fight, Gansey.” Speak of the devil, Greenmantle is out of the cafeteria.

“Why are you here, Mr. Gray?”

“To pick up Lynch. He needed me to come to get him, clearly.” 

“And what are your intentions with him?” 

“I’d like to know what yours were because he seemed to think I had plans to fuck him.” 

“He offered me a blowjob, I didn’t force him too.” Gansey and Adam look shocked.

“You’re a sick man, Colin. It’s bad enough with Niall -” Ronan flinches at his father’s name.

“Oh yes,” Now Greenmantle is making eye contact, a predator rearing to pounce. “Ronan, did you know that Mr. Gray here killed your Daddy?” 

“What?” 

“Mr. Gray is a hitman. I hired him to dispose of Niall Lynch. Tell him.” Ronan looks into Mr. Gray’s eyes hoping to see anything but the guilt pooling there.

“He’s lying, right, Mr. Gray?” Silence. “Right?” He screams this. Silence. “When were you going to tell me this? Were you planning to kill me?”

“No. I didn’t know how to tell you, Ronan. I know you found the body. I’m sorry. I didn’t even know your father.” Somehow his anonymity makes it even more painful. Ronan pounds his fists into Mr. Gray’s chest, screaming and crying hysterically. He lets him.

Gansey and Greenmantle start arguing loudly. Ronan looks over to see Greenmantle punch Gansey. Gansey reels his arm back but is caught by Mr. Gray. 

“Enough, Colin. Leave.”

“You leave. I’m going to find the Greywaren. Since you are completely incompetent for such a task, you’re fired.” 

“You’re a fool, Colin. Killing Niall marred your only chance of finding it. The Lynch boys know nothing. I interrogated the older brother but he was useless, and the youngest is as dumb as a golden retriever. Ronan knows nothing, he’s just a boy. So leave him alone.” 

“I said leave.” Greenmantle does not try to fight Mr. Gray. 

Mr. Gray leaves, getting into the red Subaru. Greenmantle heads to his own black Audi. Gansey and Adam are looking at Ronan with copious amounts of pity. Ronan heads to his BMW. His father’s BMW. He is still sobbing as he sits in front of the steering wheel. Gansey opens the passenger door and climbs in. He does nothing except wrap his arms around Ronan. 

-

Gansey doesn’t have anything to say. He isn’t sure if he’s more pissed at Kavinsky, Greenmantle, or Mr. Gray. Or Ronan. God, when the hell did things become so damn complicated?

He has been sitting in the passenger seat holding Ronan for over an hour. Adam is long-gone to fourth period, no doubt still reeling from the revelation. He had known Niall Lynch was murdered, had been there to collect Ronan. But it had never registered why he had been killed. He was a dreamer, like his son. His dreams became too vulnerable, and he taunted his enemies too much leaving him in a pool of his own blood in the driveway. He fears this for Ronan immensely, especially with Mr. Gray’s faux niceness and Greenmantle’s ferocity.

Ronan stopped crying long ago. 

“I - I’m sorry about your car. And for going to Kavinsky again. And for fucking everything up. Again. I have no idea how the hell you can stand being with me.”

Gansey sighs. “How many times will you come back with your tail tucked between your legs, Ronan?”

“I don’t know, Gansey. All I know how to do is fuck every single aspect of my life up. Who blows their Latin teacher? I’m such a piece of shit. And yes, if you’re wondering I let them fuck me again. And I begged Kavinsky to do this to me. Like some kind of penance for my sins, I don’t know. Even God might not forgive me, so how could you?” Gansey is maintaining eye contact, but Ronan keeps looking out the windshield, hands gripped tightly on the wheel. “We should stay broken up, Gansey. Kavinsky is as good as I will ever get it. You deserve more than me.”

“No.”

“What?”

“We’re not done. You’re staying with me. Let’s go to Monmouth, I’ll meet you there.” With that Gansey exits the car, slamming the door behind him, and heads to the pig.

He and Ronan pull in at the same time, although Ronan sped ahead of him the whole way. When they get there, one of Kavinsky’s revolving Mitsubishi's is in the lot as well. Ronan keeps staring at his shoes after getting out of the BMW as if he is fascinated by the frayed laces. Gansey tugs his wrist and leads the way to the driver’s side door. Kavinsky has a cast on his arm and sling around his other shoulder, but his shades are on and he is listening to a Bulgarian rap playlist that rattles the entire car. 

“Fancy meeting you two lovebirds here. I have to say your new security guard packs quite a punch, Ronan.” A long drag is taken of the cigarette in his mouth, waiting for a response. Or not. Kavinsky cracks open a beer. “Want one?” Ronan nods, and Kavinsky hands him one, brushing his hand. 

“What is it you want? How are you even driving with that?”

“No hands baby, ask Ronan all about it later.” Ronan looks lustfully at Kavinsky at the comment. “See? I got him all horny for you, where’s my reward, Dick?”

“What do you want?” Kavinsky tilts his head back and laughs. 

“Many things, Gansey. Sadly not mine to be had.”

“Stop treating Ronan like property.”

“What like you do, _ Gansey _? You treat him just the same, always tighten your grip on his leash when he slips up. But unlike me, you’re afraid to pull him taut. I can see his cracked edges, and I keep rubbing him raw until I refine the sharp corners. I can make him mine in a way you never will, Gansey. But, alas, since you’re his owner playtime has been severely limited lately.” 

Kavinsky pops a bright purple pill into his mouth after he’s done speaking, washing it down with the rest of the bottle. 

Gansey stands there like an idiot, saying nothing.

“Speechless, Dick? How rare.” A condescending laugh claws its way out of his throat to accentuate Gansey’s impotency. “So, Princess? Who is it going to be, Daddy or Me?”

Gansey is tempted to plead Ronan not to, but he sees his lowered resolve trembling at this ultimatum.

“Why do I have to choose?” A snort from Kavinsky.

“Because clearly, Gansey isn’t big into sharing, dumbass. I don’t care one way or another.” 

“Do you love me?”

“You’re fucking kidding me, Ronan. Don’t tell me you really just asked me that question.”

“Tell me.”

“I love fucking you. I love watching you get fucked. And I love hurting you. I have to say nothing gets me off more than seeing your blood.”

“But, me?”

“Ask Gansey if he loves you, see what he says.”

Gansey is confused with the redirection. What is Kavinsky trying to do?

“Gansey,” now Ronan looks at him for the first time, “Do you love me?” 

He has to think for a while, he’s not as sure as he was a few days ago. Maybe he never loved Ronan in the first place, he just wanted to fill a void. This will shatter him. 

“Yes.” His voice cracks. 

“He’s lying, babe. See now you’re standing here, heartbroken twice.”

“He’s not lying. Fuck you.” Tears spring to Ronan’s eyes.

“Yes, he is. You get dumber every time I beat you, I swear. No one loves you, Ronan. That’s the point. If I was actually in love with you, think I would have made you run around stark naked at 1 AM? If he was actually in love with you, think he would let you keep slinking around with me and the boys? He doesn't love you, Ronan. Only the idea of you.” 

“You don’t know anything about Gansey, Kavinsky.”

“Oh, but I do. He keeps threatening me, and we spar in circles. Over again, every time you surface with so much as a minor boo-boo. You think that means love, but what it means is him marking his territory. You are a piece of property Ronan, one that Gansey loves to piss on. Tell him.” Gansey makes eye contact, and for the first time notices how piercing Kavinsky’s gaze is behind the lenses of his white sunglasses. He trembles at the truth, and Kavinsky smirks.

“I hate you.” Ronan is crying now.

“I don’t give a single fuck. Are you getting in the damn car or not, Lynch?”

“Ronan, don’t run back to him. Every time we have a fight, you can’t keep running to him.”

“You really are a control freak, Gansey.” What the _ hell _?

“You really are a dumbass, Ronan. If you think Kavinsky won’t just dump you to the curb tonight for me to collect, you have lost your mind.”

“Kavinsky loves me.”

“God, get a grip. He just told you he couldn't care less about you, and somehow you’ve equated it to love just because you’re pissed at me.”

“Well, I don’t know who to choose. I need you both.” Kavinsky makes a tsk sound. 

“What, you want a fight club, Lynch? So during the day, you can frolic with Daddy but at night can party with a King? What do you think, Gansey?”

“It’s me or him, Ronan. I’m not going to watch you make more messes and have to clean it up every damn morning.”

Ronan is fuming, perhaps from both of them. 

“Fine. Gansey.”

Kavinsky laughs hysterically, and so loud that Ronan blushes. 

“Fine with me, Princess. You and Daddy can go play now. Give me a parting kiss.” Ronan leans into the driver’s side window and lines up his mouth with Kavinsky’s. He presses his lips lightly, but Kavinsky bites his lower lip fiercely. Ronan pulls away, wiping up blood. “For the record, that’s the way he likes to be kissed, Gansey.” With that, he reverses, nearly running over both their feet and then guns it out of the lot. 

Gansey clears his throat. “Let’s go upstairs, Ronan.” 

Ronan turns and makes his way to the door, silent. Gansey is amazed at how easily he lost his composure around Kavinsky, and it’s easier to envision Ronan falling for his games. He still has no idea what to say to Ronan, any more than he did before Kavinsky’s seeds of doubt were planted into the landscape of his mind. When both of them trudge up to Monmouth, it becomes evident that Ronan doesn’t want to talk. Gansey is led to his bedroom in the center of the room, and Ronan’s hands are pushing him onto the bed. 

Ronan kisses him fiercely, desperation dripping from his tongue, Gansey kisses back wrapping his hand around Ronan’s throat. Pressing lightly at first, then harder when Ronan growls. Ronan sits in his lap, and it’s as if all the blood rushes from his head to his dick. Ronan keeps grinding his hips against Gansey’s and it’s driving him insane with lust. His shirt is on the ground, then Ronan’s borrowed tee shirt, he undoes the buttons on his khakis while watching Ronan shed his gray pants. Their shoes are off. Now both of them are panting, clad in briefs and boxers. Gansey pulls down Ronan’s gray boxers, rather easily as they are too big, and Ronan slips his briefs off. Finally, both of them are naked, the lust apparent in their shared erection. 

Gansey moves onto the bed, further to the headrest, and Ronan gets on top of him. Bite marks are cascading their way down his chest, harder bites surround his nipples, causing his heart rate to rise. He wants desperately to be inside Ronan already, but Ronan is taking his time. Marking up Gansey’s throat now, with bites and sucks sure to leave dark purple hickeys by tomorrow. Ronan is moaning, and Gansey is overwhelmed with how good this feels. Now Ronan stops and looks into Gansey’s eyes for so long he wonders if he’s spaced out on one of Kavinsky’s pills again. 

“Gansey?”

“Yeah,” it comes out in a hitched breath. 

“Can we do it like this?”

“Huh?” 

“Can we look at each other?” Ronan’s bright red.

“Oh. You mean during sex?” Ronan nods, red splotches creep up his chest. “Have you been fucked like this?” Ronan shakes his head. Gansey feels pained at this, wondering how long it was wished for. “Yeah, we can.”

Ronan looks happy and content, and Gansey wants to get the lube but he’s pinned against the bed. 

“Go get the lube and your collar out of my desk.” Ronan gets off reluctantly to do as Gansey says and he remembers the last time they had sex. This time he wants Ronan to have more control, he thinks it will help. When Ronan comes back, he hands them to Gansey wordlessly. “Put the collar on me.” He watches Ronan’s eyes widen, and the pupils dilate as his fingers shakily clasp the collar around his neck. “Good.” He hears a low groan emerge from Ronan. “Prep yourself, Ronan.” 

He watches Ronan squirt out the lube onto his fingers, and shove his two fingers into his own ass. He moans at the same time as Ronan, and he watches him stretch himself out, applying a third finger, then a fourth. In and out. In and out. It might be the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, Ronan losing it over his own fingers. 

When Ronan is done, he lubes up Gansey’s dick and it’s electrifying. Every nerve explodes into sparks as his rough palm shifts up and down his shaft. Finally, he’s done and kissing Gansey’s neck. Gansey doesn’t want to kiss anymore, but he allows Ronan to move at his own pace for a while. When it becomes too much, he pushes Ronan off lightly. 

“Sit down, Ronan.” Ronan lines himself up with Gansey and pushes down onto his cock. Ronan is moaning at the sensation and Gansey’s chest is tightening from the pleasure. He looks at Ronan and all at once he appears angelic, the sharp angles of his face are as beautiful and intimidating as the devil must have been when he fell from heaven. Ronan sits flush against Gansey, and he is filling him now. Groaning fills the apartment, and no one moves. 

“Go ahead, Ronan. Set the pace.” 

Ronan is a mess, but he still looks unsure what to do, even with the direct assertion. For the second time, Gansey wonders if he’s ever been given any control during sex. Gansey bucks his hips up to send the message, and this time it clicks. Ronan presses his hands into Gansey’s chest and fucks himself. It’s fast, so fast, Gansey feels like he’ll cum early again from the heat and tightness. 

“Does it feel good, Gansey?”

“Mmhm.” He can barely make the sound, too turned on by the sound of their bodies crashing together. 

Ronan’s grip tightens against his chest when he shifts slightly, and a high pitched moan leaves his throat. Evidently, he’s found his prostate and Gansey resigns to watch him unravel. The pace increases frantically, and both of them are panting and groaning into each other. Gansey is pressing his fingers into Ronan’s hips so hard that imprints are scorching into the flesh. Ronan is clawing at his chest. He feels overwhelmed by how beautiful Ronan is.

“You’re beautiful, Ronan. Really.”

Ronan gasps in pleasure, whether from his words or his dick, and cum hits his chest in stripes as his name is uttered. He is so close, and Ronan keeps going. Now he is smearing the cum everywhere, leaning in to kiss Gansey. The pleasure from Ronan’s lips is what pushes him over the edge, and he loses all control. Ronan pulls back, to watch, and Gansey flushes. He’s too overwhelmed to feel humiliation and screams Ronan’s name as he orgasms. He can feel every part of his body tensing, and every sensation from the contact of Ronan’s skin. And then, he feels his entire body go slack and cums, filling Ronan. 

“Fuck,” Ronan says, “that was so hot.” 

Gansey laughs. “Yeah.” 

Ronan gets off and lies down next to Gansey on the covers. He puts his head onto Gansey’s chest, seeming not to care about his own cum. Gansey wraps an arm around him. 

“Did you mean it?” 

“Hm?”

“Do you think I’m beautiful?”

Gansey laughs again. “Yeah, Ronan. I wouldn’t say that if I didn’t mean it.” 

“People say things they don’t mean all the time when they get laid.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes, Gansey.”

“Well, I don’t. I love you, Ronan.” 

“I love you too.” Ronan starts to say something else but changes his mind. 

Gansey thinks about the man dangling off the apartment building again, and the uncertainty plaguing Ronan. He realizes now that he does love Ronan, but he’s also afraid for him. Afraid that even though his wings have been clipped, he’s steeling himself for a fateful plunge.

-

Joseph Kavinsky is a dagger, thin and lethal, positioned into your side before the blood begins to seep. He strikes hard and first, aims to kill not to maim. Except for Ronan Fucking Lynch, who he just can’t seem to tear apart, even though he deeply desires it. Even after all the times, he’s fucked him, he still is the only one left feeling vulnerable. Alone, without his toy. Gansey took him away. Now he needs a new one.

“K? You good?” 

He’s on his eighth bottle tonight, four lines of coke snorted earlier, and his newest pill. This one helps its user feel nothing at all, just weightlessness. 

“Peachy keen, Proko.” 

“Where’s the whore?”

“Daddy took him away, permanently. No more play dates.” 

“So you fucked yourself out of your mind because of him? He’s not worth it, man.”

“You don’t know shit, Proko. Watch your damn mouth.” Proko just splays his hands out, for a truce. Kavinsky grabs a vodka bottle and throws the cap out. He’ll be finishing it tonight anyway. 

“Hey guys,” Swan and Skov enter the basement now. He just takes a long swig of his vodka.

“Hey,” Proko plays dutiful host as usual. 

When Jiang enters the basement, he makes direct eye contact with K and then looks away. No one ever looks into his eyes for long. He scares them. And now he has more of an eye and a half, courtesy of Gansey.

Trying to stand, he gets onto his feet but trips over an empty bottle. He falls face-first onto the floor, and no one moves. He doesn’t need their help anyway. Slowly, he lifts himself off the floor, the fall jolted his arm and he grits his teeth from the pain. 

“I want to go out, visit Trailer Trash. Anyone coming?” Proko looks at him as if he lost it, maybe he has. “Any takers?” With this he staggers forward to the stairs, unable to walk straight. 

“You’re driving like that, K?”

“You going to stop me, Homo?” 

“Let me drive,” Jiang states. He likes Jiang.

“Okay.” The two make their way up the steps, and he has to lean against Jiang a lot to stay upright. The rest of his boys follow, ever loyal. 

They drive to the auto shop Adam works at, the one Ronan used to hang around. Before he and Gansey were fucking. He wonders whether Adam was with Ronan. There are no cars in the lot. But the lights are still on.

The boys enter rather loudly, and Kavinsky watches Adam slide out from underneath an old mustang. Dusting off his pants, he meanders over to them, with no hint of fear. Kavinsky sees red. 

“We’re closed, how can I help you?” His long southern drawl tumbles from his lips.

“How can I help you?” Kavinsky echoes it, to mock his accent. He watches as Adam’s cheeks flush. “You can help me out if you close your damn mouth and listen.” The word listen comes out slurred. 

Proko and Jiang hold his arms back, restricting his movement. Now he is starting to be afraid. Perfect.

Leaning in close, he puts his lips against Adam’s left ear. He whispers “I need a new plaything.” No reaction.

“I can’t hear you, Kavinsky. Say it louder.”

“What are you deaf, Trailer Trash? Need some ASL?” He feels Adam flinch. He cackles and leans over to the right ear. “Can you hear me now?” Adam nods. “I said I need a new plaything.”

“Look for someone else, I’m not interested, Kavinsky.”

“I didn’t ask you, did I?”

“Let me go. Now.”

“No, I don’t think I will. Your shift is over, let’s go.”

With that, his boys drag Adam out and Proko straps him into the backseat of Kavinsky’s Mitsubishi. Adam tries to stay as far from him as possible, even though both of them are in the back. He doesn’t bother strapping himself in. Uncaring if he flies through the windshield. The drive to his house isn’t long, and Adam stays quiet. He snorts more coke and offers some to Adam but he shakes his head. Pussy.

As the boys force Adam down to the basement, he acts as if he came willingly.

“Welcome to my humble abode.” Adam snorts. “I know you’re not used to large spaces, so we’ll stick to the basement.”

“What are you doing to me?”

“Playing. What’s your last name? Parisi?”

“Parrish.”

“Parrish. Hm. Good to know.”

“What should we do with him, K?”

“Make our guest comfortable of course.” They start stripping Adam, and he watches him try to fight back and fail. He cuts them off at the briefs. He still wants to be surprised later. Once they’re done, Adam is roughly forced down into a chair facing him. “Waiting for Daddy? He’s not coming.”

“Shut up.” Proko punches Adam in the stomach, and he watches him double over in pain. He doesn’t want his face marred and Proko knows it. “I’m not scared of you, Kavinsky.”

“You will be.” His sentences are all slurring together, but he doesn’t need to be fully coherent for what he’s about to do. Everyone is on edge, not totally comfortable with his plan for Adam. Adam is looking around, starting to realize what’s going to happen.

“So, you’re going to rape me? Is that what you did to Ronan?” His eyes narrow in anger at the mention of Ronan.

“Big mistake blondie,” Jiang sneers.

“I never raped Ronan,” Kavinsky comes over and intertwines his fingers through the boy’s hair, yanking his face upward , forcing eye contact. “He enjoyed every minute, and you will too.” 

Adam hits him in the face, causing his glasses to slide across the room, and he bumps his shoulder into the chair during the impact. It’s excruciating, and Adam takes the chance to punch his cast. His arm is burning in pain. 

“Tie him up, boys. We don’t want him too excited.” He watches as Adam’s hands are tied together, so tight that his wrists immediately start chafing. “And this.” He hands Jiang the blindfold, and Adam squirms as it’s placed over his eyes and tied tight. Tears are streaming down the boy’s face, and he sniffles lightly. 

“Maybe I should bounce, K.”

“Yeah me too, you know.”

“See you tomorrow.” 

“I’ll be in the living room if you need me,” Proko is the only one staying. Typical. His boys love to bark but not bite. 

“Fine then. Get up, pretty boy.” He forces Adam up and lies him on the bed. “You’re beautiful. I see why Ronan stares at you. I never really had a chance to look at you.”

“Fuck off, Kavinsky.” He wraps his hand around Adam’s throat, pressing down with far more force than necessary to make his point. Adam is wheezing, and gasping for air, but he keeps tightening his grip. 

“If you don’t shut up, I’ll have to gag you. Do you want me to do that?”

Adam shakes his head. He releases his throat, and he is coughing. He laughs cruelly at the reaction, and Adam flushes red. At this, he yanks down Adam’s briefs. He is pleasantly surprised by the length of the erection and takes his time to look. Adam’s chest is flushed red.

“Have you ever even had sex, Parrish?” 

“No.” It’s clear this wasn’t what he pictured.

Kavinsky laughs, and Adam is still crying. He’s getting tired of listening to the whimpers. He balls up and shoves an abandoned Aglionby tie deep into Adam’s mouth. Now it’s quieter. 

He debates whether he should prep him or not, being a virgin and all. He decides to do it, and grabs the lube, squirting it into his palm. He lubes himself up and then slathers it onto two fingers. 

“I’m going to prep you since you’re a virgin, but it’s still going to hurt.” He smirks, admiring his own cruelty. Adam is still crying, and it’s pissing him off. 

He hears a thud upstairs, and sighs. “I’ll be back. Don’t go anywhere, honey.” He slides his pants back on. 

He staggers up the stairs and runs smack into Gansey. 

“Where is he, Kavinsky? I’ll kill you, I swear to fucking God.” 

“What I can’t have any toys now? I hardly see how that’s fair.”

Gansey is seething, and he’s not interested in getting another beat down. “He’s in the basement, I didn’t even do anything yet.” He feels Gansey’s shoulder jostle his own previously dislocated one on the way, and he gasps sharply in pain. 

Gansey comes up, with Adam now dressed, and the blindfold and rope are gone. He’s shaking and crying as Gansey ushers him out the front door. Kavinsky passes out. 

-

Gansey sits Adam in the backseat of the pig, without a word. Adam keeps his eyes straight, unblinking out the window.

“I can fix your door, Gansey.” Adam is too exhausted to hide his accent.

He doesn’t answer. He’s furious.

“Tell me what happened.”

“Nothing really, I just was roughed up a little.” 

“What was he doing to you?”

“He was preparing me to -” Adam doesn’t finish speaking and a sob escapes his throat. 

“Did he touch you?”

“No, not there, he was about to when you came.”

“I’m sorry, Adam. He only fucked with you to get to Ronan and me.”

“I know.”

“Please forgive me.”

“For what? You didn’t do anything to me.” 

“You’re coming to Monmouth tonight.”

“Yeah, that sounds good to me.”

Adam follows him up to Monmouth, and Ronan is on the floor, painting a miniature supersaver store. 

“Where was he, Gansey?”

“Take a wild guess, Lynch.” At this Ronan looks up, and makes eye contact with Adam. Adam looks away, face burning in shame.

“What the fuck did he do, Adam?” Now Gansey watches him rise to his feet, striding over to Adam immediately. 

“Nothing, Ronan.”

“Then what’s with your damn neck? Huh?” Ronan is shouting now, and Gansey watches Adam flinch and retreat into himself. 

“Ronan, come with me, please. Adam, just make yourself comfortable and help yourself to whatever.” He grabs Ronan’s arm and pulls him into the bathroom, locking the door behind them. “Why are you shouting at him? You know it scares him.” He whisper-screams this.

“What the fuck, did he do to him, Gansey?” 

“According to him, he was planning to rape him but was only getting ready to prep him when I got there. He said he didn’t touch him anywhere besides his throat.” 

“What the literal fuck.”

“Ronan, at least he didn’t -”

“Yeah. But Adam never even had his first kiss, Gansey. It’s not fair. He’ll do it again if he gets a chance.”

“We have to stop him. He keeps coming back like damn cancer.” 

“We could give him to Greenmantle.”

“That’s murder, Ronan.”

“Yeah, and he’s out of our hair permanently. I can drive to Greenmantle’s house tonight and talk to him.” 

“I’m not comfortable with you going there alone, Ronan. He might take advantage of you.”

“I can handle him, Gansey. Do you want me to do it or not?” 

“Do it.” He is ashamed of how relieved he is to hand over Kavinsky. And the excitement that Greenmantle won’t find out about Ronan as well as leave Henrietta.

Ronan nods to Adam and heads out.

“Is he going to Kavinsky’s?” 

“No, Adam. Please lie down and get some sleep okay.” Adam nods, heading to Gansey’s bed.

“Uh, it’s not really that clean…” Gansey blushes.

“Right um, just lie down in Noah’s room.” Adam nods and heads there.

-

Ronan pulls up to the curb, relieved to see the living room light on. He knocks on Greenmantle’s door, and once again he answers in his briefs. 

“If this isn’t related to the Greywaren, I’m slamming your head into the Goddamn cement.” 

“It is,” Ronan pushes past him and sits on the living room couch. Greenmantle joins him. “The Greywaren isn’t a thing, it’s a person. A person with the ability to bring their dreams to life. You knew one, my father.” 

Greenmantle’s eyebrows raise at his own mention of his dad, and he continues.

“I know another Greywaren. Here. And I’ll tell you who it is, as long as you take him far from here.” 

“Who?”

“Joseph Kavinsky.”

“That prick? You’ve got to be kidding me.” 

“I’m not, he brings cars and booze and pills back all the time.” 

“What’s the catch?”

“I want him gone.” 

“You’re willing to hand him over to me? I’ll sell him, no problem. Tell me how it works first.”

“It’s not easy. You enter a dreamscape and in order to bring something back, you have to want it. Have to imagine the shape and the weight of it, the color, the sound it would make. Picture it vividly. Then you grasp it and bring it back. Sometimes things are brought back accidentally, dangerous or otherwise.”

Pain seers into the back of his neck, and he makes eye contact with Greenmantle. A stun gun. Fuck. He passes out. 

When he wakes up, his hands and legs are bound. He’s gagged. And he’s in the trunk of a moving car. After a few more minutes it jolts to a stop. Greenmantle appears as the trunk opens. 

“Morning, sleepyhead. Rest stop, for you to piss. I know you’re telling me the truth about the other boy, but figure you are also a Greywaren, right?”

Ronan shakes his head. Greenmantle winks. He lifts him out of the trunk. They’re at a portapotty on the side of a dark road. He’s humiliated as Greenmantle unzips his pants, aiming his dick at the urinal. But a sense of relief washes over him as the piss streams out and his bladder is emptied. He shakes it twice, then tucks it back in and zips Ronan’s pants. 

Greenmantle pisses too. Then they’re outside again, and he’s loading Ronan back into the trunk, despite his desperate pleas. 

“Dream yourself an escape method, Lynch.” With that, the trunk is slammed shut and darkness surrounds him. He dreams. 

He is in Cabeswater, and it’s pitch black. Slightly afraid it could be a nightmare, he moves as silently as possible. He whispers tentatively to a nearby tree and it ruffles its leaves. He can sense the tension in the air, and hurries. He pictures a black knife with a red blade that can slice through anything, he starts to feel the weight in his hand and imagines it in his hand. He thinks of his use, and the knife appears. Gripping it tightly, he pulls himself out of the dream. 

He uses the knife to unbind his hands and then undoes the binds around his legs. He then pulls the gag out of his mouth. He looks for an emergency pull lever for the trunk and finds it after maneuvering around. He pulls it but instantly realizes this is a mistake. They are on a back road, going about 70 miles per hour, and now the trunk is wide open. Greenmantle pulls over, and he grips the knife, holding it with white knuckles. 

“Good job, Ronan. Now drop the knife.”

“No way.”

Greenmantle sighs, pulling a gun out, and pressing it to Ronan’s head, clicking off the safety. Ronan feels his dick stir, and Greenmantle leans in close to his face. 

“I said drop the knife, rather nicely may I add.” 

Ronan lets it clatter on the ground and watches Greenmantle toss it out into the woods. Fuck.

“Do you need another bathroom break?” His bladder is full. He nods. Greenmantle keeps the gun flush to his temple as he uses a tree. “Let’s go back to the car.” He is led to the passenger seat and gets in. “Put this around your wrists.” It’s a zip tie. Ronan does, and Greenmantle pulls it taut.

The door is slammed and he meanders around to the driver’s side. Places the gun in the compartment by the door, after clicking the safety back on. There’s a cooler in the backseat, and two bottles of water are taken out. Two Italian subs are also removed.

They eat in the car, and Greenmantle holds the sub for Ronan to eat and brings the water to his lips until he’s finished. 

“More?” Ronan shakes his head.

“Start talking then, about your powers.” 

He does. Greenmantle listens as he explains everything he knows, hoping that he won’t get shot. When he’s done Greenmantle is looking at the windshield, processing.

“Are you selling me?”

“I haven’t decided what to do yet. Kavinsky is the only other one you know of?”

“Yes.” 

“And why have you offered him up to be a sacrificial lamb?”

“He raped me. He tried to rape Adam. He keeps fucking with Gansey and I. He’ll never leave us alone. I thought if you took him, we could finally stop living in apprehension regarding his next move.”

Greenmantle is quiet. Ronan is still thirsty.

“While you decide what to do, could I actually get more water? Please?” Greenmantle reaches into the cooler and holds it to his lips until he finishes it. 

“I like you, Ronan. Much to my own peril.”

“I like you, too.” This truth surprises Ronan as he says it.

Greenmantle smiles the first genuine smile he’s seen and he leans over to press his lips against Ronan’s. He lets him partly because he’s afraid and partly because the contact feels good. But he pulls away. Greenmantle sighs, more theatrical than necessary. 

“I suppose I could take Kavinsky, though I doubt the two of us would have nearly as much fun as we do.” 

Ronan laughs a real laugh. Greenmantle looks over, smiling. For the second time, it isn’t a smirk. 

“I’m with Gansey.”

“You’re with me right now, though. Don’t deny you’re attracted to me.” Ronan flushes, and Greenmantle considers it an admission. He makes a tsk sound and continues staring out the window deep in thought.

“What do you think about when you zone out like that?” Greenmantle jumps, as if he forgot Ronan was present.

“Wouldn’t you like to know, honey.” 

“Tell me. I told you my secrets, your turn.” 

“Hm. Fine,” he is surprised that this offer is considered, “I think a lot about why I’m so into a teenage boy. And what that means. And now I’m thinking about how to sell another human being to a room full of artifact collectors.” 

Ronan looks down in shame, again reminded of how traitorous he has become.

“Tell me a secret you’ve never told anyone, Ronan. And then I’ll tell you mine.”

Ronan has to think for a long time because his biggest secret was told to Gansey, and him being a dreamer is already known. He settles on the darkest one, that he even lies to himself about.

“I tried to commit suicide last year when I was wasted, and lied to my friends, told them it was from a nightmare.” 

“Why?”

“I missed my dad, my older brother can’t stand me, and I was lonely. I felt guilty about my father’s death.”

“You had nothing to do with his death, Ronan. Now that I know you, I regret ordering the hit.” 

A tear runs down to his chin, but he refuses to release the sob clawing its way up to his throat. Greenmantle brushes the tear away, gently, and he wasn’t aware such gentleness from the man was possible.

“Was that the secret?”

“No.”

“Tell me then.”

“I want out. I don’t want people to think I’m a psychopath or a freak any longer. I want to layout on a deserted island and never come back to civilization. I’m tired of my own self.”

Ronan understands what Greenmantle means, and he realizes for the first time, how alike both of them truly are in this instant. “Me too.” Greenmantle makes eye contact with him, and he refuses to break it.

“Well, we might as well get married then, huh, Lynch?”

Ronan laughs at how absurd this is, but Greenmantle doesn’t, silently staring at Ronan laughing. He snorts and only then does he hear Greenmantle let out soft laughter. 

“Are you taking me back to Monmouth?” 

“Is there somewhere else you want to go, Ronan?”

“Home.” 

“Okay.”

Greenmantle starts the car and pulls off the shoulder of the road. Nothing else is said for the remainder of the drive. Ronan watches Greenmantle’s hands, gripping the steering wheel, changing gears, switching the radio station several times. His hands are smaller than Ronan’s, and the veins stand out prominently. They appear fragile, and he can tell that Greenmantle has not been in many fights. 

When he pulls up to the driveway at the Barns, it’s empty as Ronan expected. He watches as Greenmantle cuts him free of the zip tie. 

“Go ahead. I’ll be here.”

Ronan nods, grateful for this offer of privacy. Once again startled by the humanity displayed, and the gentle eyes mirroring his own vulnerability. Begging him not to run away, perhaps. As he makes his way to the front door, it is eerily silent. None of the animals are grazing outside, and his mother is still unconscious, with the machines hooked to her body the only sound. Making his way up to his room, he touches the various abandoned dream items cluttering every crevice. Then he makes it to his father’s room. He looks at the picture of all five of them, where even Declan smiled. It was taken three months before his father’s death, and the only family photo without a tragic backstory. He takes it from the mantle, and he also takes the watch laying next to it. 

It is dangerous for them to spend too long here, so with one last long look at his old home, he quietly shuts the front door. He slides back into the passenger seat, still gripping the photo and slides the watch over his wrist. It’s too big at first, but Greenmantle reaches over and adjusts it perfectly. It’s silent. Greenmantle is looking at the photo, and up at Ronan’s face. 

“You and your father look so similar.” 

“I know.” 

“I’m sorry, you’ve probably heard it a million times.”

“It’s okay, I know you mean it in a good way. Look, thanks for taking me here. But we have to go, I’m not allowed to be here.”

Greenmantle reverses and guns it out of the driveway. Ronan watches the barns fade to a pinprick in the background, regretful of not saying something to his mother. Greenmantle pulls up to Monmouth, and Gansey comes downstairs. He watches Gansey walk over to the car, followed by Adam. 

“Ronan, where were you?” Gansey glares at Greenmantle.

“I was with Greenmantle, making our deal. We went for a drive.” With that, he turns and gives Greenmantle a hug, and he feels the tense muscles react to the contact. It takes a while for Greenmantle to hug him back, but then he feels arms wrap around him. “Thanks for everything.” 

Gansey looks freaked out when Ronan pulls away. Ronan keeps looking at Greenmantle.

“You’re not a psychopath or a freak. You’re just another lost soul, Colin.” He just nods in response. “You can change who you are whenever you want. Let’s both be better versions of ourselves from now on, ok?” 

The third genuine smile breaks across Greenmantle’s face. “Get out of my car now, Lynch.” 

He does. He watches Greenmantle leave the lot and turns back to his friends afterward. Gansey is perplexed, the crinkle between his eyebrows set, and Adam is smiling at Ronan. 

“Hey, Gansey.”

“Hey.” 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too, Ronan.” 

“And you’re pretty alright, Adam.” Adam laughs and lightly punches Ronan in the shoulder. Ronan leans in and kisses his forehead. Adam stops laughing. 

“Now what’s going to happen?”

“Who the hell knows. We just have to wait and see.” 

The three of them head back upstairs to Monmouth. About an hour later, Gansey takes Ronan to get his car, and Adam makes lunch. 

-

Mr. Gray has just finished packing his slim belongings into his car when Colin’s name lights up on his phone. Sighing, he picks it up.

“I found the Greywaren. It’s a person you know, his name is Joseph Kavinsky and I will pay you twenty thousand dollars to retrieve him for me. Preferably unharmed, but not a requirement.”

“You fired me.”

“Consider yourself rehired.” 

“Where do you want him?”

“Bring him to my house. Now.” 

Mr. Gray hangs up, not bothering to answer. Colin knows that it will be done. He digs around online to find the boy’s address, and it takes less than five minutes to find. Amateur. He lets out a laugh, realizing how close Colin lives. Of course, the man would be incapable to fetch his own desires, always relying on him.

When he pulls up to the next street and begins to walk toward the mansion, he notes that there is only one car parked in the driveway and all the lights are off. The door is open, so he steps through the threshold. He sees Kavinsky, on the floor, strung out like a light. Cast where he snapped his arm, and his shoulder looks worse for wear. He lightly kicks at his side, seeing if he will stir. Nothing. He lifts him up and drags him out to the car, loading him easily since the boy is thin as a rail. Probably from the cocaine ringing his nostrils. 

Colin is standing on his porch, talking on the phone, likely to a potential buyer. Mr. Gray carries the boy inside, lying him on the couch. A duffle bag is handed to him but he takes time to count it all out before leaving. Once he ensures the payment is there, he leaves. 

-

Adam sleeps at Monmouth, on the bed, with Ronan and Gansey. There’s still space left, and he realizes how huge Gansey’s bed is. Ronan and Gansey are curled into one another, snoring. 

Adam is staring at the ceiling, wondering if Ronan feels the same hot shame that he does toward Kavinsky. Noah appears, lying down next to Adam. Taking his hand. He’s grateful for the contact, even though it’s not solid. He thinks about when Kavinsky pulled down his briefs, and all of the resolve left his body. How that was the first time he’d been naked in front of another boy, and how desperately he wished it hadn’t been. 

“Adam?” Noah is whispering, as to not wake the others.

“Yeah?” 

“Are you okay?”

Is he okay? He rolls the phrase around his mind, seeking the answer, but he can’t find it. He shrugs instead, Noah sighs.

“I don’t think any of us are okay anymore, Adam.” Adam turns to look at Noah, and his face appears half-formed, showing the decay and bones underneath. Pain flickers in his eyes, looking at the remains of Noah Czerny. Betrayed by his best friend, forgotten in his death, with only the three of him to care for him now. He wonders how it felt to be sacrificed for nothing, for the life to drain. He remembers the countless time Noah has re-enacted his death. 

How many times will he think about Kavinsky? Will he re-enact that now? 

Ronan stirs and moans quietly. Not a sexual moan, but a moan of pain. Adam looks over, cautiously, afraid of what he’ll see in the room. The room is empty except for them, and Ronan’s face relaxes when Gansey pulls him closer. Adam lets out a slight sigh, and Noah curls into his side. Noah doesn’t sleep, but he clearly wants to be held, and Adam understands as he wraps his arms around his friend. 

He wakes to the sound of pans clattering, and cabinet doors slamming shut. Gansey shushes Ronan, but it’s too late, and Adam decides to just get up. When he does, Gansey hands him a plate of pancakes. Ronan is eating an omelet, watching Adam sit down across from him. Gansey plops down in the middle, with waffles. Noah is gone. They eat in silence. He stares at the watch on Ronan’s wrist, knowing that it belonged to his father. It’s in the family photo that Ronan displayed on Gansey’s desk yesterday. 

“Are we going to school? It’s 7.” Gansey speaks, uncomfortable in long silences. Adam nods, he doesn’t want to see Kavinsky, but he can’t let his grades slip. Ronan agrees, possibly only because Adam does. 

By the time the pig pulls into the lot, it’s already 8. The three rush into their first period classes. Calculus is boring as hell, and for once he finds himself agreeing with something Ronan said. When he heads into Latin, he is anxious to see Greenmantle. But Greenmantle never shows up, so the three use it as a study session. When they get to lunch, his heart rate picks up, in anticipation to see Kavinsky. Kavinsky is not there, but the rest of the pack is at the table. Once the trio sits down with their lunch trays, the boys slither their way over.

“How are you feeling, Parrish?” Skov says this with mock sympathy, and Ronan tightens his grip on his hand under the table. “Look him and Gansey’s necks match color, how cute.” Gansey flushes. 

“Where the hell is Kavinsky, Gansey?” 

“How would I know, Proko, he’s your master.” 

“Don’t play dumb, you piece of shit. I remember you coming for Trailer Trash yesterday. When I woke up, he was gone too.”

“Not my problem. Why would I take him, I can’t stand him.” 

Jiang exchanges a look with Proko, and they stalk away. Proko is on edge, without Kavinsky, his presence always fades. Adam wonders where Kavinsky is, he thought he would be relentlessly tortured today. Ronan and Gansey don’t seem to wonder. 

“Guys? Where is he?” 

“I gave him to Greenmantle.”

“What?” 

“He’s a dreamer, Greenmantle was looking for one, so I offered up Kavinsky. Who cares where he is now?”

“Hopefully dead,” Gansey chimes in. 

-

  
  


When Kavinsky opens his eyes, his Latin teacher is hovering over him. He wonders if the cocaine he snorted is causing this hallucination. 

“Good, you’re finally awake.” 

“Where am I?”

“My house, but not for long. Your buyer is arriving soon.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” 

He is starting to feel afraid for the first time in a long time. Greenmantle smirks at him, and he realizes his sunglasses are not obscuring his expression. 

“I came to this little town for the Greywaren, now that I found you, I'm selling you. Then I’m leaving.”

“Who told you?”

“An anonymous source, Joseph. I don’t feel bad since you’re a particularly vile person. Consider this karma.” 

The doorbell rings and he’s left on the couch. A man comes in, around the same age as Greenmantle. Attractive, with a deadly smile. Venom is in his eyes. 

“Is that the boy?” Greenmantle nods and the man comes over to him. He tries to sink back into the couch as the man pulls his lips open to examining his teeth. “All his teeth are intact.”

“As promised.” The man nods.

“His arm and eye?” 

“I promise you it was before he was in my possession. He pissed off a hitman a few days ago.”

“A foolish boy, then.” The man turns his gaze back to Kavinsky, and he wishes he wouldn’t have. “Are you a virgin?” His face heats up. 

“No.” 

“Pity.” There’s not an ounce of pity on either of their faces. “Strip.” 

“No way, fuck you.” It comes out shaky and weak. Shit. 

The man starts tearing off his clothes anyway, and he is crying. Greenmantle leaves the room, obviously uncomfortable judging by the heat creeping up his neck. The man pokes and prods his body looks over his bruises and scars. Sticks a gloved finger up his ass, causing him to hiss in pain. 

“Have you been fucked?”

“No.” 

“Excellent.” 

His body continues to be touched and examined, and he strokes his dick until he’s fully erect, then looks at the length. He feels like a cow, about to be admitted to a slaughterhouse. 

“Put your clothes back on. I’ll be right back.” 

He slips back into his clothes, and eyes the door. Wonders if he can make it, decides he has to at least try. He makes it all the way to gripping the door handle when a hand slams into the doorframe an inch from his head. 

“Where are you off to, pretty boy?” 

“Please, let me go, okay? I’m just a kid.”

The man laughs so hard he doubles over, and Kavinsky turns around to face him. 

“You’re funny. I know you’re a kid, dumbass.” 

“Who are you?” He is screaming. The man narrows his eyes.

“Be quiet. Let’s go to the car.” He is grabbed by his better arm and forced into the back of a black van. The door rolls shut and he hears a padlock click.

There’s another teenage boy in the back. And he is also attractive, with a straight nose and green eyes, freckles adorning his cheeks. He stares at him for a while.

“Is there a way out?” The boy shakes his head, eyes trained on the floor. “What’s your name?”

“Alex.” 

“How long have you been in here?”

“A few days.” 

“Where are you from?”

“Ohio.”

Fuck. 

“How old are you, Alex?”

“15.”

“I’m 16. My name is Joe.”

“Nice to meet you, Joe. Actually, it’s just nice to have someone to talk to. I’m scared.” 

“Me too. Do you know where he’s taking us?”

“No. How did he get you?”

“I was sold.” He doesn’t offer up an explanation, and the boy’s eyes are piercing his. 

“My father sold me.” _ Christ _. What the hell?

“Excuse me, what?”

“He sold me, didn’t want me anymore.” The boy starts picking at his thumbnail. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“It’s not your fault.” Kavinsky nods. 

“Where can I piss?”

Alex points to a blue bucket in the corner and averts his gaze while Kavinsky uses it. When he’s done, he sits next to Alex, wrapping his arms around his knees. The van comes to an abrupt stop, but the door remains shut. Much to their relief and the boys relax again. He hears arguing outside, he is afraid again. 

Noah appears next to him and he nearly has a heart attack. At least he thinks it’s Noah, he’s only met the boy in passing.

“Noah?”

“Kavinsky, what’s happening?”

“Fuck if I know, I’m pretty sure we’re being sold as sex slaves.”

“Let’s get you guys out of here.”

“Please,” Alex is desperate. Kavinsky can hardly blame him, he’d be crazy from being alone for days.

Noah opens the door from the outside, and the three slink their way down an alleyway. The man is nowhere to be seen. He hotwires a car, and once the three are in, pushes the speedometer up to 90. Alex’s eyes widen at the speed, but Noah relaxes in the backseat.

“Where should I go, Noah?” 

“I don’t know, K. They’re really pissed at you about Adam.”

“Adam?” Alex is glancing over.

“I bet Ronan turned me over to Greenmantle. That little whore.” 

“Watch it, K. I’m doing you a favor.” 

He glances at the clock, 2:14, so classes will be over soon. He speeds to Monmouth. Noah lets the two boys in. Alex asks if he can shower, and Noah takes him to the bathroom. When he comes out, he’s wearing Gansey’s clothes. Looks better in them than Gansey anyway. 

Gansey, Ronan, and Adam come in shortly after and stop dead when they see Kavinsky.

“Surprised?” 

“Why are you here? Who is that, and why is he wearing my clothes?”

“I escaped thanks to your pal, Noah. This is Alex and his clothes were filthy. Since you’re such a nice person, I figured you wouldn’t mind.”

“Noah?”

“Mmhm. Although, I have no clue how he got into that van in the first place.” 

“Joe? Who are these people?”

“This is Gansey, Ronan, and Adam. My enemies.” 

“Adam? The boy you hurt?” 

Kavinsky smirks. “Yes.” 

“Are you a bad person?”

“Absolutely.” 

Alex looks down at the floor. “Where’s Noah?” 

“I don’t know. Gansey?”

“Haven’t seen him.”

“Telling Greenmantle about me? I didn’t think you had it in you, Ronan. I have to say I’m awfully proud of you.”

Ronan looks at the ground, a blush creeping up his neck. “I’m sorry, K. But what you did to me and Adam was completely fucked.” 

“Fair.” Alex links their fingers together, and he has no clue why but lets him. “After being prodded like a cow, I feel like a whole new man.” 

“What did he sell you to, a child molester?”

“Evidently, Ronan.” 

“So this kid was also in the van?”

“Yes. Want me to put him back?” The grip on his hand tightens. “I’m not being serious, Alex, relax.” 

“Where are you from, Alex?”

“Columbus, Ohio.” 

“Do you know where you are?” Alex shakes his head. “Henrietta, Virginia. About two hours north of Washington, D.C. if that helps.” Alex nods as if it does. 

“Enough of the chit chat, let’s call a truce. I’ll leave the three of you alone, and you stop trying to sell me to pedophiles. Deal?”

“Deal.” The three say at the same time. He rolls his eyes, knowing Gansey’s still calling the shots. 

“Come on Alex, guess you can stay with me.” 

“Okay.” The two of them leave Monmouth, and Jiang pulls up five minutes later. 

When Jiang pulls up, the rest of his dream pack is already inside. Probably losing their minds without him. Alex falls behind him, using his body as a shield. He lets him. They walk down to the basement.

Proko is up instantly, flinging his arms around him. “Thank God, K.” Eyeing Alex, his nose wrinkles. “Who’s that, Gansey Jr.?”

“Alex. He rolls with us now.” He dares anyone to object, but they are silent. 

“Sweet. We’re so glad to see you, man,” Skov is slurring his words.

“Yeah, yeah. Someone pour me a vodka. Alex, you want anything?”

“Jack?”

“You heard the boy, Proko.” 

He and Alex sit side by side and drink. His boys are rough-housing in the background. 

“Alex? I’ve done really bad things to people. I’m not a nice guy. But I promise that I’ll take care of you.” 

“That’s all I care about, then, Joe.” 

“Call me Kavinsky.”

Alex smirks. Lips are pressed against his, and he thanks God for the new toy. He kisses back hard and bites at Alex’s lower lip. A sharp moan escapes his mouth, Swan looks over in their direction and then away. “Come on.” 

He leads Alex up to his bedroom, wanting privacy. Stripping off their clothes, the boys collapse onto the bed as one. Alex is moaning into his touch, as he works his fingers up his spine. He feels the warmth around his collarbone and then the impact of teeth on skin. He bites Alex’s neck enough to draw blood, and he hears a scream of pure ecstasy. He fully intends to eat the boy whole.

-

When Gansey, Adam, and Ronan arrive for their second period, a note is taped to the door stating that all Latin classes are being switched over to french in room 302. Greenmantle must have split. French is easy enough for Gansey, but he notices that Ronan struggles and makes a mental note to tutor him later. Arriving at lunch, the three move to their usual table. They watch Kavinsky and his dogs enter the cafeteria. Instead of Proko on his left, Alex reigns, forcing Proko to the right. He has a wicked bite mark enveloping his neck and is holding Kavinsky’s hand. Gansey makes eye contact, and he watches Alex whisper into Kavinsky’s ear. Daggers are unsheathed, and the pack makes their way to the table.

“Fuck,” he whispers to himself. 

“What’s up, Daddy?” Kavinsky sits down across from Gansey, and the rest file in. Alex is nearly in his lap. “We thought you boys looked really lonely over here. And since we made our little truce, I figured we could join you.” 

“You go here, now, Alex?”

“He goes wherever he wants, Dick.” 

“Fine. You guys can join us if you’re civil.”

“No promises,” Proko sneers.

Ronan rolls his eyes, and Adam picks at his salad. Gansey takes a bite of his pizza. Kavinsky’s crew is fooling around more than eating. Kavinsky and Alex are making out heavily, which is wholly unappetizing. 

“Get a room,” Ronan bites.

“Jealous, Ronan?” Kavinsky smirks.

“If you’re trying to make me jealous, you’re wasting your time.”

“Just a pleasant side effect, Princess.” 

“I can make out with Gansey right now, douchebag.”

“Do it, then.” 

Gansey flushes, but Ronan takes the challenge, pressing their lips together. Adam moves over as Ronan pushes himself against his body in an obscene movement. It’s teeth and lips, and hands clashing together. His pants are straining from an erection, and Ronan presses a hand against it. A low moan escapes his throat. Adam kicks his leg under the table, and the two break apart panting for air. 

Kavinsky has a devilish smirk, obviously enjoying the scene. Gansey looks around and notices a majority of boys in the cafeteria are staring at him and Ronan. “Nice show, lovebirds.” Alex laughs. 

“Fuck off, K.” 

“See how I always call the shots,” Kavinsky winks. “Come to my party tomorrow night, but bring a treat.” 

“We’re having a party?”

“Yes, Alex. And I need a party favor since Lynch is out of commission, so put yourself to good use.” Proko snickers. Alex glares at him. Ronan looks down at the table, then back at Kavinsky. 

“What do you want?”

“Surprise me, Ronan. Let’s go boys.” With that, they abandon the cafeteria. 

“You two act like animals around Kavinsky. You know that?”

Gansey feels the blow to his chest from Adam’s comment and watches him leave too. Ronan stays with him at the table. They eat in silence for the rest of the period. 

Gansey pulls up to the party, Ronan in tow. Alex is grinding against some dude, and Kavinsky is watching, leaning up against his car. Gansey thinks about Ronan for a moment and pushes the thought away. Taking a drag out of a cigarette, Kavinsky makes eye contact with him. 

“Welcome to my party, bitches. What did you bring me, dollface?” 

Ronan holds out a gold chain and Kavinsky whistles. “Very nice, how’d you know?” Ronan takes Gansey’s hand. 

Kavinsky offers Ronan cocaine off the hood of his car, and Gansey watches him snort lines. Gansey refuses the offer, leaving Kavinsky to finish the rest. Alex is done with the random guy and comes over to him. 

“Which one are you again?”

“Gansey.”

“Oh yeah, do you want that outfit back?”

“Keep it.” 

“Do you want to get out of here? Looks like your boyfriend is a little busy.” Gansey looks back and Ronan is now accepting a beer from the backseat. Getting dangerously close to Kavinsky. 

“No, thanks.” 

“It’s rude to deny a party favor, Gansey.” 

“I’m not interested okay? I’m with Ronan.” 

Alex huffs and is off to find some other victim. 

Gansey walks over to Ronan, and he staggers at first when Ronan leans back against him with all of his body weight. Correcting himself, he wraps his arms around his waist to anchor him upright. Ronan is laughing hysterically, and his hands are moving up Kavinsky’s thighs. Gansey pulls him away and they move off to a more secluded area. Screaming and flames are the compositions of the fairgrounds around them, the dream pack floating throughout the party. Gansey lays down and Ronan is on top of him. 

“Let’s do it,” Ronan’s pupils are blown and his words are slurring. 

“Not right now, baby.” 

“Why?” 

“Because you’re fucked up. Just lay down.” 

Ronan kisses him, and they make out, but he won’t let it go any further. Ronan groans in frustration and starts begging him to help him out. Gansey reaches between them, and opens Ronan’s jeans, pushing his hand down and grabbing his erection. He gives Ronan a handjob and finds it arousing how loud his moans are. Ronan cums all over their pants, and Gansey sighs in irritation.

“Are you even having fun, Gansey? You haven’t even gotten drunk or anything.”

“This isn’t my scene Ronan, I’m just here for you, ok?”

Ronan nods and places his head above his heart. They lie that way for a long time, and Ronan passes out. Kavinsky finds them and leans down next to Gansey’s face. 

“No hard feelings, right, Gansey?”

“Time heals all wounds.”

“You really are a walking cliche,” Kavinsky laughs. 

“Why do you have your sunglasses on? It’s pitch black, K.”

“Don’t knock it until you try it.”

“Hand them over.”

To his surprise, Kavinsky puts them on his face instead. The sky above turns violet with pink undertones, and Kavinsky’s face is a hue of lilac. It truly is beautiful. Gansey is in awe. 

“It’s beautiful, K.” 

“Not everything is as it seems, Gansey. Come for a drive?” Taking the sunglasses back, he slides them on. 

He nods and the two carry Ronan to the car. Ronan is laid out in the backseat, and Gansey slips into the passenger seat. When Kavinsky is inside, he puts the car in gear and the car flies out of the fairgrounds. 

“Kavinsky?”

“Hm?”

“Is the rumor about your parents true?”

“Which one?”

“You killed them?” 

“Oh, yeah. I did. I had to, Gansey. Trust me, they both deserved it.”

“How’d you do it?”

“What are you an undercover cop?” He laughs, and Kavinsky sighs. “I gave my mom a heroin overdose, and pushed my dad down the stairs.” 

“Why’d you do it?”

He watches as Kavinsky’s grip on the steering wheel tightens, and the car starts sliding off the road. Kavinsky corrects it, but only after the car scrapes against a guardrail. 

“It’s not polite to ask heavy questions at a party Gansey.” 

“Sorry, forget I said anything.”

“No. I’ll tell you if you promise to keep it a secret. I’ve never told anyone before. Not the truth anyway.” 

Gansey makes sure Ronan is still asleep with even breaths, then gestures for Kavinsky to continue. He has to pinky promise, which is juvenile and makes Kavinsky look younger than he is. The car is pulled over onto the shoulder and the gear put into park before he pulls the keys out of the ignition. Kavinsky slides the shades back onto Gansey’s face, and his fingers caress his cheek in the process. Gansey can’t help but wonder if it’s because Kavinsky wants to appear beautiful to someone, even through distortion.

“Don’t tell your friends ok?” 

“I promise. Just you and I Kavinsky.” Kavinsky is thrown into a shade of lavender. Gansey waits patiently for him to speak. 

“My dad used to rape me. At night. He would come into my room, and knock me around for a while. Then he would always say ‘This is how a real man feels’ as he pinned me to the bed. It started when I was 8, and he did it until the night I snapped. I broke free and pushed him down the stairs. My mom knew about all of it, but she was too doped up to care. That night, she just stared at his broken neck and went back to tweaking on the couch. When she was sober, she started flipping shit. So I gave her a larger dose than normal, hoping she would forget, but the amount killed her.”

He sits in silence after, unsure of what to say. 

“Don’t say you feel bad, please.” 

“I don’t.” He lies, but only for Kavinsky’s sake. He never knew there was humanity buried underneath the hard exterior. 

“Good, I don’t want your pity, I just wanted to be honest with someone.” 

“I know, K. Is that why you hurt Ronan and Adam?” 

“I don’t know. I felt powerful with Ronan, but with Adam, I just felt sad afterward. I’m glad you stopped me.” 

Gansey nods. “Adam’s never been with anyone.”

“He told me. I guess he started reminding me of myself, with my father. That was my first time too.”

“I see.” 

“You wanted me dead? When you handed me over?”

“Yeah, or at least gone. I don’t want you hurting them anymore.”

“I won’t. Besides now you know my secret. Can you tell me one of yours? So we’re even?”

Gansey thinks, wondering if he has a secret of such magnitude, to compare. Kavinsky waits, more patient and vulnerable looking than Gansey has seen. What is it like for your own parents to do any of that?

“I was given a second chance at life, to find Glendower. When Noah died,” Kavinsky looks as if things are clicking into place, “I died too from a swarm of hornets. A voice told me that I would stay alive because someone was dying on the ley line that shouldn’t, that I was to find Glendower. That it was my purpose. If I don’t find him, Noah’s life will be wasted.” He feels the pressure lessen in his chest as he says out loud for the first time. 

“That’s some heavy shit. You want a cigarette?” 

He nods, and Kavinsky hands him over a cigarette, lighting it. They sit in the car and smoke, and he likes the slow burn in his chest from the nicotine. 

“So Noah is a ghost? That’s how he found us?” Gansey nods.

“Hm.” Kavinsky pulls out a purple pill and pops it into his mouth, turning the car back toward the fairgrounds. “Well, I’m glad you came, Gansey.” 

“Me too.” The honesty behind the statement shocks him. 

When Kavinsky pulls up to the pig, he helps load Ronan into the passenger seat. When he pulls away he watches Alex grind against Kavinsky in the rearview mirror. Kavinsky raises two fingers in a mock salute and Gansey returns it. He realizes the sunglasses are still on his face, shades of tangerine flickering over the scene. The fading smirk in his vision as he leaves the fairgrounds could set fire to his heart if he allowed it to. 

-

When Ronan wakes up, his head is pounding louder than the electronica music blasting from his iPod. He rolls over and faces Gansey’s bare chest. He has no idea when they got back from the party, or any recollection of falling asleep. He remembers snorting lines with Kavinsky and a handjob, which might have just been a wet dream. Kavinsky’s sunglasses are perched on top of Gansey’s head, and he vaguely remembers being at the fairgrounds with him. Did Gansey sleep with Kavinsky? 

He shakes Gansey to wake him up, and he startles. 

“Ronan? What?”

“Why do you have his sunglasses?”

“He gave them to me.”

“He gives those to no one, Gansey.”

“Well, he owes us. And nothing happened between us, Ronan. You fell asleep, and we talked for a while.” 

“Did you give me a handjob?”

“Yes, you were high out of your mind, wanted to fuck in the middle of the field.”

“Pussy,” Ronan smiles lazily.

“At least I didn’t cum all over our pants, Lynch. ‘O, Gansey’.” 

He punches Gansey in the arm and is met with laughter. Then he smirks and grabs the sunglasses off his head, slipping then on. The room explodes into the shade of a crimson rose, and Gansey looks more beautiful than ever. Ronan kisses him roughly, and Gansey moans appreciatively at the physical contact. They kiss for a few minutes, and warmth pools in his chest. When Gansey pulls away from his lips, he burrows his head into Gansey’s chest. 

“Do you want french toast?”

“Chocolate chip?”

Gansey sighs dramatically, “Anything for you, sweetheart.” 

“Gansey?”

“What?”

“Can I have the shades?”

He hears Gansey snort, and say whatever. Then he’s up, presumably starting the french toast. It’s the first Saturday that he hasn’t felt the sting of anxiety, or guilt over his father. Maybe he finally found peace, even with all of his mistakes. And finally, Ronan found the love that he thought only existed in his dreams. After breakfast, the two are working on more apartment buildings, and he has the sneaking suspicion that Henrietta doesn’t actually have 8 apartment complexes.

“Gansey, why are we doing more apartments?”

“Because you like creating the apartments, Ronan. And it makes you happy, which makes me happy.”

“I have to tell you something, even though it might make you mad.” Gansey picks his hand up and kisses it, to encourage him. 

“You know, the only time I was actually mad at you in two years, is when you blew our teacher and then had an orgy. You probably can’t top that.” 

He smiles at Gansey, “Yeah, I probably can’t.”

They both laugh, but then he feels the familiar tension spread over his shoulder blades, and Gansey reaches out to rub his back. 

“I lied to you before, about last year. I - it wasn’t an accident, Gansey.”

“I know that, Ronan.” 

“No, you don’t, man. How could you?” 

He’s pulled into a hug, and Gansey keeps stroking his back. He likes it. 

“Look, I hate to burst your bubble, Ronan. But you’re the worst liar I have ever met. And I know about a thousand politicians.” 

Ronan laughs so hard at this, that he snorts multiple times. Gansey laughs too. 

“All kidding aside, Ronan, do you need to talk about it?” 

“I’m such a fuck-up, Gansey. I feel like no one wants me around.”

“You think I don’t want you around?”

“Yeah, all the time. I try not to, but I do. I always think you’ll find someone better. Like Adam.” 

“Like Adam?”

“Haven’t you two slept together?”

“Ronan, you’re the first person I’ve had sex with.” 

“No way you were a virgin, Gansey.”

“Last I checked, I’m the only one with a hard-on when thinking about a 600-year-old Welsch king.” 

“Fair. I wish you had been my first, Gansey. Instead of Kavinsky.” 

“I know, Ronan. I wish that too, for you. You have me now though, and I won’t let you go, okay?”

“You love me?”

“More than Glendower. And the pig. And my top sliders.”

“That really turns me on, Gansey. Say I’m number 1.” Gansey laughs. 

“You’re my number one, Lynch.” 

“Now say I’m the hottest person in the world and the best boyfriend.”

“You’re the hottest person in the world and the best boyfriend. Are you done?” 

“Mm. One more thing?”

“Ok.”

“I’m better in bed.” 

“You’re an angel in bed.” Ronan flushes so darkly, that Gansey smirks and pulls him closer for a kiss. “How’s that?”

“Really good.”

“Good.”

Ronan is unsure if he’s died and gone to heaven tonight. Gansey is working him with his mouth, spreading bite marks and welts across his hip bones. He’s sucking two of Gansey’s fingers right now, and it’s nearly pushing him over the edge. Watching Gansey’s lips as not to miss a second, he bucks his hips slightly, followed by his own obscene moan that Gansey’s eyebrows shoot up at. Gansey is looking at Ronan now, for the first time seeming unsure of what to do. Ronan isn’t actually aware of what he wants him to do, just wants _ more _. 

He pops the fingers out of his mouth, distressed at the loss, and leans his head back against the wall. He thinks about the disappointment God must feel at his perversion, and it brings some of the heat from his pelvis to his face. He wonders for a moment what Declan would think of him. Probably as little as God himself, if not riddled with -

“Ronan? What’s on your mind?”

He doesn’t answer, unsure of how to proclaim these intrusive thoughts, without ruining the mood. Gansey sighs and shifts so he is sitting up next to Ronan. Their hands are interlinked, and he is struck again with Gansey’s ability to lower his heart rate. 

“That I’m going to hell.”

“For which sin?” Ronan laughs, but Gansey appears genuinely intrigued. 

“Homosexuality, in summary.”

“I don’t think God really spends his day damning gay people to hell, Ronan. There are people out there like Greenmantle, and if anyone is going to hell, that man needs to worry about his salvation.”

“He’s not all that bad, underneath. Like Kavinsky.” 

“What about Kavinsky?”

“I heard.”

“Oh, that was private.”

“I’m sorry, I was too coked out to tell you I was only half-asleep. But I won’t tell anyone else. I just never knew any of it. That he was a human, instead of the monster plaguing my own head.”

“Neither did I. He made his choices though, Ronan. It’s not up to me to forgive him, it’s completely up to Adam and you.”

“Do you think Adam is actually ok? He seems pissed at us.” 

“I don’t know,” Gansey rubs the pad of his thumb over his bottom lip, “Are you ok, Ronan?” 

He thinks for a while before answering. Seeking the truth buried under his exterior. He thinks about his family, Kavinsky, Greenmantle, Mr. Gray. What a mess he made with all of those. How desperate he is to not ruin this love because it might be his only chance left to redeem himself. Gansey kisses his forehead, and Ronan cocoons himself into Gansey’s chest. Gansey forms the crystalline boundary, and now he is impenetrable. Until he finds the strength to emerge. 

“Ronan. Did you hear what I said about Noah?”

“Yes.”

“Please don’t tell him, I don’t want him to feel guilty or try to make me feel better.”

“I won’t tell him, I’m good with secrets. Except with you, for some reason.” 

“Because you are in love with me,” Gansey sings this and Ronan wants to punch him. He feels Gansey’s laughter. He can’t believe that Gansey is actually afraid of something. He thought Gansey had no fears. 

“I never thought you were scared of anything, Gansey.” 

“Ronan, there are many things I am afraid of.”

“Are you afraid of me?”

“I’m afraid you might hurt yourself again.”

“I don’t cut myself anymore.”

“Hurting yourself also constitutes having someone beat the crap out of you, having sex with K and his dogs, drinking, snorting coke, arguing with me.” 

“You saying I have bad habits?”

“In summary.” Gansey pulls him even closer. He can smell the mint leaf Gansey had been chewing on earlier. 

“You know the moment when you are about to orgasm, and your whole body is on edge?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s sort of how I feel all the time.” 

“You have to release the tension then, babe.”

“How?”

“Do you want a massage?” 

“Maybe.” 

“Rollover.” 

Ronan does, and Gansey straddles him. When hands make contact with his shoulder blades, he can already feel the tension pooling within his spine. Gansey spends a long time, getting out the kinks and pulling at the taut muscles from his neck down to the final curve of his spine. He still has pain, but it’s significantly lighter to breathe now. Gansey kisses the length of his spine afterward, leaving a wet trail. When he goes to move off, Ronan stops him. 

“I want to do it.”

“We’re not in elementary school, Lynch. You can say the word sex.”

“Gansey, please shut up and get the lube.” 

He feels Gansey get off, and he thinks about what position he wants to be in. Gansey leans over him, feeling the sheets. 

“What are you looking for?”

“I didn’t know if you wanted to have the collar, it might still be in the sheets somewhere.”

“It’s ok, Gansey.”

“Alright, how do you want to do this?” 

“You can be on top if you want.”

“Okay, do you want me to prep you or would you rather do it?” 

“Let me do it.” He wants Gansey inside of him, and he’s faster. Gansey nods and squirts lube into his palm. By the time he is ready, Gansey’s leaking pre-cum, and Ronan grips his erection to apply lube. 

“Shit.” 

Ronan just keeps going, partially giving a handjob. He likes watching Gansey’s face contort into a maxim of pleasure. Gansey’s breath hitches, and he forces Ronan’s hand off. “Stop trying to make me cum, you ass.” 

He laughs and then stops abruptly when his wrists are pinned to the bed by Gansey’s hand. “Do you like this, Ronan?”

“Yes,” it comes out as a whine more than an answer. God, he’s so turned on by the light grip Gansey now has, because Ronan won’t try to get out of it. Then his hand is gone and his hips are being held as Gansey pushes into his entrance. 

“Don’t move your arms, Ronan.” 

“Ok.” He’s starting to see white patches in his vision as Gansey hits his prostate, building a steady pace. The moans he is currently making would put a porno to shame and Gansey sounds no better. Searing pain shoots up his ribcage from Gansey’s body. “Gansey?” 

“Yes?” 

“Can you move down a little, my ribs hurt.” Gansey complies and he feels less pressure. 

“Thank you.” 

“Sure.” 

He finds himself desperate to hold onto Gansey or claw his back, but he isn’t allowed to. He isn’t being kissed either and his frustration is overwhelming the pleasure. “Gansey?”

“Yes?” 

“Can you please hold me?” 

“I don’t want to hurt your ribs, honey.” A sigh escapes him because Gansey is right. “We can do it doggy style for a little.” He nods. 

Gansey pulls out and he whimpers. He gets on his hands and knees, and Gansey is behind him. 

“How is this?” 

“Good.” 

Gansey is careful to wrap his arms around Ronan’s shoulders this time and re-builds a rhythm. It feels a lot better in this position, and he is groaning in pleasure. Gansey is kissing his neck now, and it’s driving him insane. A string of profanities leaves Ronan’s mouth and Gansey chuckles. 

“Faster.” 

Gansey complies and his brain short circuits when his prostate is brushed against. Gansey keeps thrusting into his prostate and Ronan screams in pleasure as Gansey bites down hard onto his neck. He’s starting to whimper, begging Gansey to go faster, to suck his neck harder, to place hickeys down the length of his spine. 

Gansey does all of these, and Ronan feels his heartbeat hammering in his brain. 

“I love you, Ronan.” 

Ronan felt his orgasm building for a while with the stimulation of Gansey’s mouth, and the declaration is what finally causes him to cum. He loses all control with his usual embarrassing litany of Gansey’s name. Gansey cums right after, with Ronan still moaning in pleasure. Gansey pulls out and lies down on the bed, pulling Ronan to his chest. Ronan is grateful for the direction as he was ready to collapse in ecstasy. 

“Ronan.”

“Yeah?”

“You gotta say it back, man.”

“Oh sorry, I thought me spasming beneath you through my orgasm was enough of a fucking answer. I love you too, Dick.” 

“Hm, I think a ‘thank you for making me cum so hard I can’t see straight’ is appropriate.”

“I think you should shut up, and start thanking me for putting up with your attitude, Gansey."  
  
  
  
Gansey kisses him, and he is home.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading, I would appreciate any comments or feedback on it. Uh, yeah if you like it, I have several unpublished fics in the works at the moment so you know my username. If there were errors I'm sorry, I proofread it so many times over the past summer that my eyes glaze over by the first page. 
> 
> P.S. I just want to clarify that the Colin situation is very inappropriate and that he was attempting to groom Ronan. Plus the whole Kavinsky thing was - blech. I do not want you to think i ship them or condone that behavior in real life between adults and minors. Also, I think Rovinsky is VERY toxic but nonetheless it always seems to sneak it's way into my fics, if only to give ronan something better.


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